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A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Funny
Drank
Woman
Decency
Beer
Didn
Alcohol
Drinkers
Book
Drunk
Booze
Even
Thank
Drunkenness
Drinking
Drove
Drink
Whiskey
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I've been drunk only once in my life. But that lasted for twenty-three years.
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Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
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When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with.
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In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.
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My daughter wants to throw a stone at a bad man. I stop her from throwing, shaking my head and giving her a little slap. My disapproval is complete. You think: 'That's right, she shouldn't throw a stone even at a villain.' Then I hand her a brick to throw.
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If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.
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Never work with animals or children.
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I'm searching for loopholes.
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Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
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Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
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Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
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The best thing to break is a contract.
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Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
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I'm looking for loopholes.
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It's a funny old world. A man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.
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Bert Williams was the funniest man I ever saw and the saddest man I ever knew.
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A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.
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The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.
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The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature...no writers have been developed along the lines of my type of comedy and this is why I sometimes have differences with writers, supervisors and directors alike.
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Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness... I thought I'd lost it.
W. C. Fields
