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Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Funny
Insomniac
Well
Oxymoron
Good
Insomnia
Cure
Cures
Humorous
Plenty
Sleep
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
W. C. Fields
I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
W. C. Fields
There are better things than sex, but nothing quite like it.
W. C. Fields
If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon.
W. C. Fields
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. Fields
No one likes the fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men.
W. C. Fields
I can do anything I want to do!
W. C. Fields
Some people are born losers others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. Fields
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.
W. C. Fields
I've been drunk only once in my life. But that lasted for twenty-three years.
W. C. Fields
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. Fields
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. Fields
It's what you do that counts and not what you say therefore I fired my press agent.
W. C. Fields
You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. Fields
Thou shalt not steal-only from other comedians.
W. C. Fields
How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.
W. C. Fields
I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.
W. C. Fields
I'm looking for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
My daughter wants to throw a stone at a bad man. I stop her from throwing, shaking my head and giving her a little slap. My disapproval is complete. You think: 'That's right, she shouldn't throw a stone even at a villain.' Then I hand her a brick to throw.
W. C. Fields
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. Fields
