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Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Cures
Humorous
Plenty
Sleep
Funny
Insomniac
Well
Oxymoron
Good
Insomnia
Cure
More quotes by W. C. Fields
The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature...no writers have been developed along the lines of my type of comedy and this is why I sometimes have differences with writers, supervisors and directors alike.
W. C. Fields
The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.
W. C. Fields
All Englishmen talk as if they've got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.
W. C. Fields
It's quite true I'm not drinking anymore however, I'm not drinking any less either.
W. C. Fields
My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?
W. C. Fields
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. Fields
I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
W. C. Fields
There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in, should his bank be unable to hold all of it.
W. C. Fields
I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. Fields
There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
W. C. Fields
What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an axe.
W. C. Fields
Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
W. C. Fields
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.
W. C. Fields
I don't object to nine aces in one deck. But when a man lays down five aces in one hand... and besides, I know what I dealt him!
W. C. Fields
The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.
W. C. Fields
The low-ceiling price bazaar for sexual relief was a street called Middie Alley. You could barely get a pushcart through this avenue. Top price-twenty-five cents.
W. C. Fields
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. Fields
I like children. If they're properly cooked.
W. C. Fields
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. Fields
Some people are born losers others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. Fields
