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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Advice
Every
Humor
Love
Relationship
Day
Life
Joy
Frowning
Attitude
Witty
Start
Silly
Laughter
Happiness
Smile
Inspirational
More quotes by W. C. Fields
My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?
W. C. Fields
Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
W. C. Fields
It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
W. C. Fields
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
W. C. Fields
California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.
W. C. Fields
I don't object to nine aces in one deck. But when a man lays down five aces in one hand... and besides, I know what I dealt him!
W. C. Fields
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. Fields
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.
W. C. Fields
Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. Fields
I'm searching for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. Fields
Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.
W. C. Fields
I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.
W. C. Fields
I've been barbecued, stewed, screwed, tattooed, and fried by people claiming to be my friends. The human race has gone backward, not forward, since the days we were apes swinging through the trees.
W. C. Fields
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. Fields
Never work with animals or children.
W. C. Fields
Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.
W. C. Fields
It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn't travel far to find a girl.
W. C. Fields
Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
W. C. Fields
