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If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Firsts
Humor
Rejection
First
Successful
Quit
Trying
Point
Quitting
Life
Success
Damn
Funny
Succeed
History
Fool
Business
Positive
Inspirational
Motivational
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine
W. C. Fields
I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
W. C. Fields
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
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Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness... I thought I'd lost it.
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It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
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I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. Fields
It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn't travel far to find a girl.
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The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!
W. C. Fields
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
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If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
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Happiness means quiet nerves.
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In the ten years since I had run away from home...I had gone through more strange experiences than the average person crowds into a whole lifetime.
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I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
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There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
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The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
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I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
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If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon.
W. C. Fields
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. Fields
The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.
W. C. Fields
The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.
W. C. Fields
