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If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Funny
Succeed
History
Fool
Business
Positive
Inspirational
Motivational
Firsts
Humor
Rejection
First
Successful
Quit
Trying
Point
Quitting
Life
Success
Damn
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
W. C. Fields
If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
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How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a quart?
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I ad lib most of my dialogue. If I did remember my lines, it would be too bad for me.
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Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.
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Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
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I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.
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Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.
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I'm searching for loopholes.
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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
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Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
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I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.
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If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
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Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.
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To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe.
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It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one's present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason
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Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
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You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
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Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
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