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If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
First
Successful
Quit
Trying
Point
Quitting
Life
Success
Damn
Funny
Succeed
History
Fool
Business
Positive
Inspirational
Motivational
Firsts
Humor
Rejection
More quotes by W. C. Fields
W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.
W. C. Fields
I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad.
W. C. Fields
If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon.
W. C. Fields
I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m.
W. C. Fields
Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
W. C. Fields
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. Fields
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. Fields
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
W. C. Fields
I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. Fields
I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.
W. C. Fields
I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.
W. C. Fields
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. Fields
I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. Fields
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine
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Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)
W. C. Fields
I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
W. C. Fields
I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. Fields
No one likes the fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men.
W. C. Fields
I'd take a Bromo, but I can't stand the noise.
W. C. Fields
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. Fields
