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if Saint Bruce doesn't like your poem, he chops your head off.

Vivian Vande Velde

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Vivian Vande Velde
Age: 73
Born: 1951
Born: January 1
Novelist
Writer
Rochester
New York
Bruce
Poem
Saint
Head
Doesn
Like
Chops

More quotes by Vivian Vande Velde

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Then, early, early, early in the morning-just as in countless Disney films-I heard a rooster crow. But guess what? They don't do it just once.
Vivian Vande Velde
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Number one rule for fiction: Coincidence can be used to worsen a characters predicament, but never to solve his problems.
Vivian Vande Velde
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The wolf sniffed beneath the door to be sure this was a human cottage. The scent was undeniable. No pigs, except in bacon form. The wolf thought bacon form was a very sensible way for pigs to behave.
Vivian Vande Velde
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There, close enough to spit on--if I'd been a barbarian and inclined to spit--was the dragon.
Vivian Vande Velde
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A [reformed] vampire ... mostly tries to make reparation for his previous evil by doing good deeds-most commonly, apparently, going into the crime solving business.
Vivian Vande Velde
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People always talk about good, fresh country air, but I kept getting wiffs of something that was neither good nor fresh but definitely country.
Vivian Vande Velde
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Mothers are legendary for being able to read the thoughts of their children at just the right moment.
Vivian Vande Velde
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Giannine--What are they going to do: smack me on the head with a pamplet?
Vivian Vande Velde
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Those Grimm brothers, she said with a sigh, they'll never amount to anything. And she was right because all they ever became was writers.
Vivian Vande Velde
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If you don't like vampire games, don't play
Vivian Vande Velde
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They'd poisoned me, dammit. Probably to trade my dead body to the barbarians for Wulfgar's safe return. Or maybe just for the fun of it.
Vivian Vande Velde