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Negotiating the adolescent stage is neither quick nor easy.
Virginia Satir
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Virginia Satir
Age: 72 †
Born: 1916
Born: June 26
Died: 1988
Died: September 10
Author
Psychotherapist
Social And Health Care Assistant
Social Worker
Teacher
Writer
Virginia M. Satir
Adolescent
Negotiating
Adolescence
Quick
Neither
Stage
Easy
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You have learned what you have learned very well. It has helped you survive.
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The symbol in Chinese for crisis is made up of two ideographs: one means danger, the other means opportunity. This symbol is a reminder that we can choose to turn a crisis into an opportunity or into a negative experience.
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Problems are not the problem coping is the problem.
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I am me and I am okay.
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I give life to that which I notice. What I don't notice dies.
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We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.
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Your responses to the events of life are more important than the events themselves.
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I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay.
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I want you to get excited about who you are, what you are, what you have, and what can still be for you. I want to inspire you to see that you can go far beyond where you are right now.
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I want to love you without clutching, appreciate you without judging, join you without invading, invite you without demanding, leave you without guilt, criticize you without blaming, and help you without insulting. If I can have the same from you, then we can truly meet and enrich each other.
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Negotiating the adolescent stage is neither quick nor easy. . . . I have often said to parents, If it isn't illegal, immoral, orfattening, give it your blessing. We do much better . . . if we find and support all the places we can appropriately say yes, and say only the no's that really matter.
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The message sent is not always the message received.
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It's sad that children cannot know their parents when they were younger when they were loving, courting, and being nice to one another. By the time children are old enough to observe, the romance has all too often faded or gone underground.
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As a therapist, I am a companion. I try to help people tune into their own wisdom.
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I know people can change-right down to my bones, through every cell, in every fiber of my body-I now that people can change. It is just a question of when and in what context.
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Parents teach in the toughest school in the world - The School for Making People. You are the board of education, the principal, the classroom teacher, and the janitor.
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I think if I have one message, one thing before I die that most of the world would know, it would be that the event does not determine how to respond to the event. That is a purely personal matter. The way in which we respond will direct and influence the event more than the event itself.
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We get together on the basis of our similarities we grow on the basis of our differences.
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Rearing a family is probably the most difficult job in the world. It resembles two business firms merging their respective resources to make a single product. All the potential headaches of that operation are present when an adult male and an adult female join to steer a child from infancy to adulthood.
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Put together all the existing families and you have society. It is as simple as that. Whatever kind of training took place in the individual family will be reflected in the kind of society that these families create.
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