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Negotiating the adolescent stage is neither quick nor easy.

Virginia Satir

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Virginia Satir
Age: 72 †
Born: 1916
Born: June 26
Died: 1988
Died: September 10
Author
Psychotherapist
Social And Health Care Assistant
Social Worker
Teacher
Writer
Virginia M. Satir
Negotiating
Adolescence
Quick
Neither
Stage
Easy
Adolescent

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Why Family Therapy...because it deals with family pain.
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Rearing a family is probably the most difficult job in the world. It resembles two business firms merging their respective resources to make a single product. All the potential headaches of that operation are present when an adult male and an adult female join to steer a child from infancy to adulthood.
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What lingers from the parent's individual past, unresolved or incomplete, often becomes part of her or his irrational parenting.
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It is O. K. for me to feel angry and to express it in responsible ways.
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I feel that adolescence has served its purpose when a person arrives at adulthood with a strong sense of self-esteem, the ability to relate intimately, to communicate congruently, to take responsibility, and to take risks. The end of adolescence is the beginning of adulthood. What hasn't been finished then will have to be finished later.
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It is now clear to me that the family is a microcosm of the world. To understand the world, we can study the family: issues such as power, intimacy, autonomy, trust, and communication skills are vital parts underlying how we live in the world. To change the world is to change the family.
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People prefer the certainty of misery to the misery of uncertainty
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I am me and I am okay.
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So much is asked of parents, and so little is given.
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Once a human being has arrived on this earth, communication is the largest single factor determining what kinds of relationships he makes with others and what happens to him in the world about him.
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No one's fingerprints are exactly the same as anyone else's.
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You have learned what you have learned very well. It has helped you survive.
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Every word, facial expression, gesture, or action on the part of a parent gives the child some message about self-worth. It is sad that so many parents don't realize what messages they are sending.
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I want to love you without clutching, appreciate you without judging, join you without invading, invite you without demanding, leave you without guilt, criticize you without blaming, and help you without insulting. If I can have the same from you, then we can truly meet and enrich each other.
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My dream is to make families a place where adults with high self esteem can develop. I think we have reached a point where if we don't get busy on dreams of this sort, our end is in sight. We need a world that is as good for human beings as it is for technology.
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I know people can change-right down to my bones, through every cell, in every fiber of my body-I now that people can change. It is just a question of when and in what context.
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Negotiating the adolescent stage is neither quick nor easy. . . . I have often said to parents, If it isn't illegal, immoral, orfattening, give it your blessing. We do much better . . . if we find and support all the places we can appropriately say yes, and say only the no's that really matter.
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I want to appreciate you without judging. Join you without invading. Invite you without demanding. Leave you without guilt.
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Your responses to the events of life are more important than the events themselves.
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