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Negotiating the adolescent stage is neither quick nor easy.
Virginia Satir
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Virginia Satir
Age: 72 †
Born: 1916
Born: June 26
Died: 1988
Died: September 10
Author
Psychotherapist
Social And Health Care Assistant
Social Worker
Teacher
Writer
Virginia M. Satir
Adolescent
Negotiating
Adolescence
Quick
Neither
Stage
Easy
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The message sent is not always the message received.
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I am me and I am okay.
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We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.
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Negotiating the adolescent stage is neither quick nor easy. . . . I have often said to parents, If it isn't illegal, immoral, orfattening, give it your blessing. We do much better . . . if we find and support all the places we can appropriately say yes, and say only the no's that really matter.
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The full life is filled with vulnerability, not defense. You face whatever feeling there is.
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I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay.
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The greatest gift I can give is to see, hear, understand, and touch another person.
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Your responses to the events of life are more important than the events themselves.
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The Problem is never the problem! It is only a symptom of something much deeper.
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I feel that adolescence has served its purpose when a person arrives at adulthood with a strong sense of self-esteem, the ability to relate intimately, to communicate congruently, to take responsibility, and to take risks. The end of adolescence is the beginning of adulthood. What hasn't been finished then will have to be finished later.
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We get together on the basis of our similarities we grow on the basis of our differences.
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We need to see ourselves as basic miracles.
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Parents teach in the toughest school in the world - The School for Making People. You are the board of education, the principal, the classroom teacher, and the janitor.
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I want you to get excited about who you are, what you are, what you have, and what can still be for you. I want to inspire you to see that you can go far beyond where you are right now.
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I know people can change-right down to my bones, through every cell, in every fiber of my body-I now that people can change. It is just a question of when and in what context.
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I want to love you without clutching, appreciate you without judging, join you without invading, invite you without demanding, leave you without guilt, criticize you without blaming, and help you without insulting. If I can have the same from you, then we can truly meet and enrich each other.
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You have all played a significant part in my development of loving. As a result, my life has been rich and full, so I leave feeling very grateful.
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What lingers from the parent's individual past, unresolved or incomplete, often becomes part of her or his irrational parenting.
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Rearing a family is probably the most difficult job in the world. It resembles two business firms merging their respective resources to make a single product. All the potential headaches of that operation are present when an adult male and an adult female join to steer a child from infancy to adulthood.
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As a therapist, I am a companion. I try to help people tune into their own wisdom.
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