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I want to love you without clutching, appreciate you without judging, join you without invading, invite you without demanding, leave you without guilt, criticize you without blaming, and help you without insulting. If I can have the same from you, then we can truly meet and enrich each other.

Virginia Satir

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Virginia Satir
Age: 72 †
Born: 1916
Born: June 26
Died: 1988
Died: September 10
Author
Psychotherapist
Social And Health Care Assistant
Social Worker
Teacher
Writer
Virginia M. Satir
Help
Criticize
Invading
Helping
Guilt
Enrich
Without
Blame
Blaming
Love
Judging
Insulting
Appreciate
Invite
Meet
Demanding
Truly
Invites
Leave
Join
Clutching

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I give life to that which I notice. What I don't notice dies.
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It is O. K. for me to feel angry and to express it in responsible ways.
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I want to appreciate you without judging. Join you without invading. Invite you without demanding. Leave you without guilt.
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Negotiating the adolescent stage is neither quick nor easy.
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You have learned what you have learned very well. It has helped you survive.
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It is now clear to me that the family is a microcosm of the world. To understand the world, we can study the family: issues such as power, intimacy, autonomy, trust, and communication skills are vital parts underlying how we live in the world. To change the world is to change the family.
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I feel that adolescence has served its purpose when a person arrives at adulthood with a strong sense of self-esteem, the ability to relate intimately, to communicate congruently, to take responsibility, and to take risks. The end of adolescence is the beginning of adulthood. What hasn't been finished then will have to be finished later.
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The greatest gift I can give is to see, hear, understand, and touch another person.
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You have all played a significant part in my development of loving. As a result, my life has been rich and full, so I leave feeling very grateful.
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So much is asked of parents, and so little is given.
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The Problem is never the problem! It is only a symptom of something much deeper.
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The symbol in Chinese for crisis is made up of two ideographs: one means danger, the other means opportunity. This symbol is a reminder that we can choose to turn a crisis into an opportunity or into a negative experience.
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What lingers from the parent's individual past, unresolved or incomplete, often becomes part of her or his irrational parenting.
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Negotiating the adolescent stage is neither quick nor easy. . . . I have often said to parents, If it isn't illegal, immoral, orfattening, give it your blessing. We do much better . . . if we find and support all the places we can appropriately say yes, and say only the no's that really matter.
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I know people can change-right down to my bones, through every cell, in every fiber of my body-I now that people can change. It is just a question of when and in what context.
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We need to see ourselves as basic miracles.
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We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.
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As a therapist, I am a companion. I try to help people tune into their own wisdom.
Virginia Satir
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Rearing a family is probably the most difficult job in the world. It resembles two business firms merging their respective resources to make a single product. All the potential headaches of that operation are present when an adult male and an adult female join to steer a child from infancy to adulthood.
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Adolescents are not monsters. They are just people trying to learn how to make it among the adults in the world, who are probably not so sure themselves.
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