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So much is asked of parents, and so little is given.

Virginia Satir

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Virginia Satir
Age: 72 †
Born: 1916
Born: June 26
Died: 1988
Died: September 10
Author
Psychotherapist
Social And Health Care Assistant
Social Worker
Teacher
Writer
Virginia M. Satir
Asked
Parents
Parent
Given
Littles
Little
Much

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We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.
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The message sent is not always the message received.
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The Problem is never the problem! It is only a symptom of something much deeper.
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Every word, facial expression, gesture, or action on the part of a parent gives the child some message about self-worth. It is sad that so many parents don't realize what messages they are sending.
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People prefer the certainty of misery to the misery of uncertainty
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I want to love you without clutching, appreciate you without judging, join you without invading, invite you without demanding, leave you without guilt, criticize you without blaming, and help you without insulting. If I can have the same from you, then we can truly meet and enrich each other.
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I have talked about choosing rather than acting from compulsion. When you feel that you have to live according to someone else's direction or live so that you never disappoint or hurt anybody, then your life is a continual assessment of whether or not you please other people.
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You have learned what you have learned very well. It has helped you survive.
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I know people can change-right down to my bones, through every cell, in every fiber of my body-I now that people can change. It is just a question of when and in what context.
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I want to appreciate you without judging. Join you without invading. Invite you without demanding. Leave you without guilt.
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Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible - the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family.
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Communication is to relationships what breath is to life.
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My dream is to make families a place where adults with high self esteem can develop. I think we have reached a point where if we don't get busy on dreams of this sort, our end is in sight. We need a world that is as good for human beings as it is for technology.
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The symbol in Chinese for crisis is made up of two ideographs: one means danger, the other means opportunity. This symbol is a reminder that we can choose to turn a crisis into an opportunity or into a negative experience.
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Our biggest problem as human beings is not knowing that we don't know.
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It's sad that children cannot know their parents when they were younger when they were loving, courting, and being nice to one another. By the time children are old enough to observe, the romance has all too often faded or gone underground.
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Rearing a family is probably the most difficult job in the world. It resembles two business firms merging their respective resources to make a single product. All the potential headaches of that operation are present when an adult male and an adult female join to steer a child from infancy to adulthood.
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Taste everything, but swallow only what fits.
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Problems are not the problem coping is the problem.
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The full life is filled with vulnerability, not defense. You face whatever feeling there is.
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