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I've never understood the point of ecstasy. I think if I wanted to get dehydrated and jump about with a load of people I've never met before I could go to a Methodist barn dance.
Victoria Wood
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Victoria Wood
Age: 62 †
Born: 1953
Born: May 19
Died: 2016
Died: April 20
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Pianist
Screenwriter
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Director
Think
Mets
Methodist
Thinking
Dance
Methodists
People
Understood
Barn
Understanding
Barns
Point
Jumping
Funny
Load
Wanted
Ecstasy
Dehydration
Never
Jump
Dehydrated
More quotes by Victoria Wood
Sexual harassment at work... is it a problem for the self-employed?
Victoria Wood
If God had meant men to have children, he would have given them a PVC apron.
Victoria Wood
If you behave normally, people treat you normally. It's only when you act as if you're someone special that they feel obliged to stand on ceremony.
Victoria Wood
I wouldn't kidnap a man for sex - I'm not saying I couldn't use someone to oil the mower.
Victoria Wood
Well, I think there's not much of a chance for me finding somebody of my age. Gentlemen of my age are dropping down 30 years to find girlfriends.
Victoria Wood
I have been in a youth hostel...You are put in a kitchen with seventeen venture scouts with behavioural difficulties and made to wash swedes.
Victoria Wood
All my friends started getting boyfriends, but I didn't want a boyfriend, I wanted a thirteen-colour biro.
Victoria Wood
On a train, why do I always end up sitting next to the woman who's eating the individual fruit pie by sucking the filling out through the hole in the middle?
Victoria Wood
Music enriches people's lives in the same way paintings and literature do. Everybody deserves that.
Victoria Wood
In Russia, show the least athletic aptitude and they've got you dangling off the parallel bars with a leotard full of hormones.
Victoria Wood
I sometimes think that being widowed is God's way of telling you to come off the Pill.
Victoria Wood
A lot of panel programmes rely on men topping each other, or sparring with each other, which is not generally a very female thing.
Victoria Wood
I can remember when pants were pants. You wore them for twenty years, then you cut them down for pan scrubs. Or quilts.
Victoria Wood
In London it's easy not to be the focus of attention, especially when Sting lives in the house just behind you.
Victoria Wood
Of course I don't want to go to a cocktail party...If I wanted to stand around with a load of people I don't know eating bits of cold toast I can get caught shoplifting and go to Holloway [women's prison].
Victoria Wood
Music is an element that should be part and parcel of every child's life via the education system.
Victoria Wood
I haven't got a waist. I've just got a sort of place ... a bit like an unmarked level crossing.
Victoria Wood
My massage was marvellous. I feel really relaxed. And my masseur, Harold :You can't have a masseur called Harold. It's like having a member of the Royal Family called Ena.
Victoria Wood
I know I've got a degree. Why does that mean I have to spend my life with intellectuals? I've got a lifesaving certificate but I don't spend my evenings diving for a rubber brick with my pyjamas on.
Victoria Wood
People always think I hate doing interviews. I don't. I wouldn't do them if I didn't like them.
Victoria Wood