Quote

You know daytime television? You know what it's supposed to be for? It's to keep unemployed people happy. It's supposed to stop them running to the social security demanding mad luxuries like cookers and windows.

Victoria Wood

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TAGS & TOPICS

Victoria Wood
Age: 62 †
Born: 1953
Born: May 19
Died: 2016
Died: April 20
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Pianist
Screenwriter
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Director
Running
Luxury
Keep
Supposed
Cookers
Like
Window
Luxuries
People
Television
Daytime
Security
Unemployed
Stop
Demanding
Happy
Windows
Social
Mad

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Last time I went Intercity there were a couple across the aisle having sex. Of course, this being a British train, nobody said anything. Then they finished, they both lit up a cigarette and this woman stood up and said, Excuse me, I think you'll find this is a non-smoking compartment.
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I wouldn't kidnap a man for sex - I'm not saying I couldn't use someone to oil the mower.
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Everyone I meet is gay, married or crackers
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Radio killed variety and TV killed radio, and the internet will kill television and it will go on and on.
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In London it's easy not to be the focus of attention, especially when Sting lives in the house just behind you.
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All my friends started getting boyfriends, but I didn't want a boyfriend, I wanted a thirteen-colour biro.
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If God had meant them to be lifted and separated, He would have put one on each shoulder.
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I once went to one of those parties where everyone throws their car keys into the middle of the room. I don't know who got my moped, but I drove that Peugeot for years.
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I have been in a youth hostel...You are put in a kitchen with seventeen venture scouts with behavioural difficulties and made to wash swedes.
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I can remember when pants were pants. You wore them for twenty years, then you cut them down for pan scrubs. Or quilts.
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I like writing a lot more than I used to. I used to find it scary but now I've got used to it once it gets going. I used to find it hard to start. Fear of the blank page. The first thing you write down won't bear any relation to what's in your head and that's always disappointing.
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People always think I hate doing interviews. I don't. I wouldn't do them if I didn't like them.
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I've never understood the point of ecstasy. I think if I wanted to get dehydrated and jump about with a load of people I've never met before I could go to a Methodist barn dance.
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If you behave normally, people treat you normally. It's only when you act as if you're someone special that they feel obliged to stand on ceremony.
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Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television.
Victoria Wood
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I sometimes think that being widowed is God's way of telling you to come off the Pill.
Victoria Wood
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Music is an element that should be part and parcel of every child's life via the education system.
Victoria Wood
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A lot of panel programmes rely on men topping each other, or sparring with each other, which is not generally a very female thing.
Victoria Wood
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Well, I think there's not much of a chance for me finding somebody of my age. Gentlemen of my age are dropping down 30 years to find girlfriends.
Victoria Wood
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In Russia, show the least athletic aptitude and they've got you dangling off the parallel bars with a leotard full of hormones.
Victoria Wood