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I wouldn't kidnap a man for sex - I'm not saying I couldn't use someone to oil the mower.

Victoria Wood

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Victoria Wood
Age: 62 †
Born: 1953
Born: May 19
Died: 2016
Died: April 20
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Pianist
Screenwriter
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Director
Sex
Couldn
Wouldn
Saying
Use
Mower
Someone
Mowers
Men
Kidnap
Oil

More quotes by Victoria Wood

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I once went to one of those parties where everyone throws their car keys into the middle of the room. I don't know who got my moped, but I drove that Peugeot for years.
Victoria Wood
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On a train, why do I always end up sitting next to the woman who's eating the individual fruit pie by sucking the filling out through the hole in the middle?
Victoria Wood
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If God had meant men to have children, he would have given them a PVC apron.
Victoria Wood
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I can remember when pants were pants. You wore them for twenty years, then you cut them down for pan scrubs. Or quilts.
Victoria Wood
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A lot of panel programmes rely on men topping each other, or sparring with each other, which is not generally a very female thing.
Victoria Wood
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All my friends started getting boyfriends, but I didn't want a boyfriend, I wanted a thirteen-colour biro.
Victoria Wood
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Of course I don't want to go to a cocktail party...If I wanted to stand around with a load of people I don't know eating bits of cold toast I can get caught shoplifting and go to Holloway [women's prison].
Victoria Wood
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I like writing a lot more than I used to. I used to find it scary but now I've got used to it once it gets going. I used to find it hard to start. Fear of the blank page. The first thing you write down won't bear any relation to what's in your head and that's always disappointing.
Victoria Wood
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Music is an element that should be part and parcel of every child's life via the education system.
Victoria Wood
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People always think I hate doing interviews. I don't. I wouldn't do them if I didn't like them.
Victoria Wood
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Music enriches people's lives in the same way paintings and literature do. Everybody deserves that.
Victoria Wood
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Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television.
Victoria Wood
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I have stayed true to that first idea that people can have a day in their lives that is very important and if they can reconnect with that day, reconnect with the people they were then, they can suddenly revive their emotions.
Victoria Wood
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Everyone I meet is gay, married or crackers
Victoria Wood
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Sexual harassment at work... is it a problem for the self-employed?
Victoria Wood
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A man is designed to walk three miles in the rain to phone for help when the car breaks down - and a woman is designed to say, 'you took your time' when he comes back dripping wet.
Victoria Wood
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I haven't got a waist. I've just got a sort of place ... a bit like an unmarked level crossing.
Victoria Wood
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Life's not fair, is it? Some of us drink champagne in the fast lane, and some of us eat our sandwiches by the loose chippings on the A597.
Victoria Wood
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I used to make my own food and ate on my own in my room.
Victoria Wood
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If you behave normally, people treat you normally. It's only when you act as if you're someone special that they feel obliged to stand on ceremony.
Victoria Wood