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I sometimes think that being widowed is God's way of telling you to come off the Pill.

Victoria Wood

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Victoria Wood
Age: 62 †
Born: 1953
Born: May 19
Died: 2016
Died: April 20
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Pianist
Screenwriter
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Director
Pill
Pills
Telling
Come
Sometimes
Way
Think
Thinking
Widowed

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In Russia, show the least athletic aptitude and they've got you dangling off the parallel bars with a leotard full of hormones.
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All my friends started getting boyfriends, but I didn't want a boyfriend, I wanted a thirteen-colour biro.
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In my 20s I was going round seeing agents who were patronising because I was fat and a girl, which was a double whammy. I knew what it was to feel out-of-the-loop.
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You know daytime television? You know what it's supposed to be for? It's to keep unemployed people happy. It's supposed to stop them running to the social security demanding mad luxuries like cookers and windows.
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Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television.
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People always think I hate doing interviews. I don't. I wouldn't do them if I didn't like them.
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I like writing a lot more than I used to. I used to find it scary but now I've got used to it once it gets going. I used to find it hard to start. Fear of the blank page. The first thing you write down won't bear any relation to what's in your head and that's always disappointing.
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I once went to one of those parties where everyone throws their car keys into the middle of the room. I don't know who got my moped, but I drove that Peugeot for years.
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On a train, why do I always end up sitting next to the woman who's eating the individual fruit pie by sucking the filling out through the hole in the middle?
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In my day we didn't have sex education, we just picked up what we could off the television.
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A lot of panel programmes rely on men topping each other, or sparring with each other, which is not generally a very female thing.
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My mother, she didn't believe in praise. She'd never say anything was great. I think that's quite Northern, to not make people feel too good. I didn't mind if she was proud of me or not, it didn't bother me. I was never trying to please her.
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I used to make my own food and ate on my own in my room.
Victoria Wood
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A man is designed to walk three miles in the rain to phone for help when the car breaks down - and a woman is designed to say, 'you took your time' when he comes back dripping wet.
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I've never understood the point of ecstasy. I think if I wanted to get dehydrated and jump about with a load of people I've never met before I could go to a Methodist barn dance.
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I know I've got a degree. Why does that mean I have to spend my life with intellectuals? I've got a lifesaving certificate but I don't spend my evenings diving for a rubber brick with my pyjamas on.
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I have been in a youth hostel...You are put in a kitchen with seventeen venture scouts with behavioural difficulties and made to wash swedes.
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If God had meant men to have children, he would have given them a PVC apron.
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Well, I think there's not much of a chance for me finding somebody of my age. Gentlemen of my age are dropping down 30 years to find girlfriends.
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I wouldn't kidnap a man for sex - I'm not saying I couldn't use someone to oil the mower.
Victoria Wood