Quote

Of course I don't want to go to a cocktail party...If I wanted to stand around with a load of people I don't know eating bits of cold toast I can get caught shoplifting and go to Holloway [women's prison].

Victoria Wood

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Victoria Wood
Age: 62 †
Born: 1953
Born: May 19
Died: 2016
Died: April 20
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Pianist
Screenwriter
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Director
Wanted
Cold
Toast
People
Bits
Toasts
Stand
Cocktails
Courses
Load
Course
Prison
Party
Luck
Holloway
Around
Caught
Shoplifting
Women
Eating
Cocktail

More quotes by Victoria Wood

Image
A man is designed to walk three miles in the rain to phone for help when the car breaks down - and a woman is designed to say, 'you took your time' when he comes back dripping wet.
Victoria Wood
Image
Last time I went Intercity there were a couple across the aisle having sex. Of course, this being a British train, nobody said anything. Then they finished, they both lit up a cigarette and this woman stood up and said, Excuse me, I think you'll find this is a non-smoking compartment.
Victoria Wood
Image
If God had meant men to have children, he would have given them a PVC apron.
Victoria Wood
Image
All my friends started getting boyfriends, but I didn't want a boyfriend, I wanted a thirteen-colour biro.
Victoria Wood
Image
I like writing a lot more than I used to. I used to find it scary but now I've got used to it once it gets going. I used to find it hard to start. Fear of the blank page. The first thing you write down won't bear any relation to what's in your head and that's always disappointing.
Victoria Wood
Image
I have been in a youth hostel...You are put in a kitchen with seventeen venture scouts with behavioural difficulties and made to wash swedes.
Victoria Wood
Image
You know daytime television? You know what it's supposed to be for? It's to keep unemployed people happy. It's supposed to stop them running to the social security demanding mad luxuries like cookers and windows.
Victoria Wood
Image
In Russia, show the least athletic aptitude and they've got you dangling off the parallel bars with a leotard full of hormones.
Victoria Wood
Image
I can remember when pants were pants. You wore them for twenty years, then you cut them down for pan scrubs. Or quilts.
Victoria Wood
Image
Radio killed variety and TV killed radio, and the internet will kill television and it will go on and on.
Victoria Wood
Image
I haven't got a waist. I've just got a sort of place ... a bit like an unmarked level crossing.
Victoria Wood
Image
Music is an element that should be part and parcel of every child's life via the education system.
Victoria Wood
Image
I've never understood the point of ecstasy. I think if I wanted to get dehydrated and jump about with a load of people I've never met before I could go to a Methodist barn dance.
Victoria Wood
Image
In my day we didn't have sex education, we just picked up what we could off the television.
Victoria Wood
Image
I once went to one of those parties where everyone throws their car keys into the middle of the room. I don't know who got my moped, but I drove that Peugeot for years.
Victoria Wood
Image
My massage was marvellous. I feel really relaxed. And my masseur, Harold :You can't have a masseur called Harold. It's like having a member of the Royal Family called Ena.
Victoria Wood
Image
I know I've got a degree. Why does that mean I have to spend my life with intellectuals? I've got a lifesaving certificate but I don't spend my evenings diving for a rubber brick with my pyjamas on.
Victoria Wood
Image
People always think I hate doing interviews. I don't. I wouldn't do them if I didn't like them.
Victoria Wood
Image
Music enriches people's lives in the same way paintings and literature do. Everybody deserves that.
Victoria Wood
Image
If God had meant them to be lifted and separated, He would have put one on each shoulder.
Victoria Wood