Quote

I once went to one of those parties where everyone throws their car keys into the middle of the room. I don't know who got my moped, but I drove that Peugeot for years.

Victoria Wood

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Victoria Wood
Age: 62 †
Born: 1953
Born: May 19
Died: 2016
Died: April 20
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Pianist
Screenwriter
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Director
Car
Room
Rooms
Went
Mopeds
Middle
Drove
Party
Throws
Everyone
Parties
Years
Keys

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I haven't got a waist. I've just got a sort of place ... a bit like an unmarked level crossing.
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I used to make my own food and ate on my own in my room.
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I wouldn't kidnap a man for sex - I'm not saying I couldn't use someone to oil the mower.
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If God had meant them to be lifted and separated, He would have put one on each shoulder.
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People always think I hate doing interviews. I don't. I wouldn't do them if I didn't like them.
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All my friends started getting boyfriends, but I didn't want a boyfriend, I wanted a thirteen-colour biro.
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Music enriches people's lives in the same way paintings and literature do. Everybody deserves that.
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In London it's easy not to be the focus of attention, especially when Sting lives in the house just behind you.
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Music is an element that should be part and parcel of every child's life via the education system.
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I know I've got a degree. Why does that mean I have to spend my life with intellectuals? I've got a lifesaving certificate but I don't spend my evenings diving for a rubber brick with my pyjamas on.
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In my day we didn't have sex education, we just picked up what we could off the television.
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My mother, she didn't believe in praise. She'd never say anything was great. I think that's quite Northern, to not make people feel too good. I didn't mind if she was proud of me or not, it didn't bother me. I was never trying to please her.
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If you behave normally, people treat you normally. It's only when you act as if you're someone special that they feel obliged to stand on ceremony.
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Everyone I meet is gay, married or crackers
Victoria Wood
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Sexual harassment at work... is it a problem for the self-employed?
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Well, I think there's not much of a chance for me finding somebody of my age. Gentlemen of my age are dropping down 30 years to find girlfriends.
Victoria Wood
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I've never understood the point of ecstasy. I think if I wanted to get dehydrated and jump about with a load of people I've never met before I could go to a Methodist barn dance.
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I have been in a youth hostel...You are put in a kitchen with seventeen venture scouts with behavioural difficulties and made to wash swedes.
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In Russia, show the least athletic aptitude and they've got you dangling off the parallel bars with a leotard full of hormones.
Victoria Wood
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A man is designed to walk three miles in the rain to phone for help when the car breaks down - and a woman is designed to say, 'you took your time' when he comes back dripping wet.
Victoria Wood