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Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television.
Victoria Wood
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Victoria Wood
Age: 62 †
Born: 1953
Born: May 19
Died: 2016
Died: April 20
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Pianist
Screenwriter
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Director
Television
Inspirational
Running
Jogging
Enough
Luck
People
Intelligent
Aren
Watches
Watch
More quotes by Victoria Wood
People always think I hate doing interviews. I don't. I wouldn't do them if I didn't like them.
Victoria Wood
If God had meant them to be lifted and separated, He would have put one on each shoulder.
Victoria Wood
I've never understood the point of ecstasy. I think if I wanted to get dehydrated and jump about with a load of people I've never met before I could go to a Methodist barn dance.
Victoria Wood
I haven't got a waist. I've just got a sort of place ... a bit like an unmarked level crossing.
Victoria Wood
My massage was marvellous. I feel really relaxed. And my masseur, Harold :You can't have a masseur called Harold. It's like having a member of the Royal Family called Ena.
Victoria Wood
I know I've got a degree. Why does that mean I have to spend my life with intellectuals? I've got a lifesaving certificate but I don't spend my evenings diving for a rubber brick with my pyjamas on.
Victoria Wood
I have stayed true to that first idea that people can have a day in their lives that is very important and if they can reconnect with that day, reconnect with the people they were then, they can suddenly revive their emotions.
Victoria Wood
Well, I think there's not much of a chance for me finding somebody of my age. Gentlemen of my age are dropping down 30 years to find girlfriends.
Victoria Wood
Radio killed variety and TV killed radio, and the internet will kill television and it will go on and on.
Victoria Wood
Music enriches people's lives in the same way paintings and literature do. Everybody deserves that.
Victoria Wood
I like writing a lot more than I used to. I used to find it scary but now I've got used to it once it gets going. I used to find it hard to start. Fear of the blank page. The first thing you write down won't bear any relation to what's in your head and that's always disappointing.
Victoria Wood
I used to make my own food and ate on my own in my room.
Victoria Wood
A lot of panel programmes rely on men topping each other, or sparring with each other, which is not generally a very female thing.
Victoria Wood
In Russia, show the least athletic aptitude and they've got you dangling off the parallel bars with a leotard full of hormones.
Victoria Wood
On a train, why do I always end up sitting next to the woman who's eating the individual fruit pie by sucking the filling out through the hole in the middle?
Victoria Wood
A man is designed to walk three miles in the rain to phone for help when the car breaks down - and a woman is designed to say, 'you took your time' when he comes back dripping wet.
Victoria Wood
In London it's easy not to be the focus of attention, especially when Sting lives in the house just behind you.
Victoria Wood
Of course I don't want to go to a cocktail party...If I wanted to stand around with a load of people I don't know eating bits of cold toast I can get caught shoplifting and go to Holloway [women's prison].
Victoria Wood
Last time I went Intercity there were a couple across the aisle having sex. Of course, this being a British train, nobody said anything. Then they finished, they both lit up a cigarette and this woman stood up and said, Excuse me, I think you'll find this is a non-smoking compartment.
Victoria Wood
I sometimes think that being widowed is God's way of telling you to come off the Pill.
Victoria Wood
