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Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television.
Victoria Wood
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Victoria Wood
Age: 62 †
Born: 1953
Born: May 19
Died: 2016
Died: April 20
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Pianist
Screenwriter
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Director
Inspirational
Running
Jogging
Enough
Luck
People
Intelligent
Aren
Watches
Watch
Television
More quotes by Victoria Wood
I sometimes think that being widowed is God's way of telling you to come off the Pill.
Victoria Wood
Music enriches people's lives in the same way paintings and literature do. Everybody deserves that.
Victoria Wood
Well, I think there's not much of a chance for me finding somebody of my age. Gentlemen of my age are dropping down 30 years to find girlfriends.
Victoria Wood
All my friends started getting boyfriends, but I didn't want a boyfriend, I wanted a thirteen-colour biro.
Victoria Wood
In my day we didn't have sex education, we just picked up what we could off the television.
Victoria Wood
I know I've got a degree. Why does that mean I have to spend my life with intellectuals? I've got a lifesaving certificate but I don't spend my evenings diving for a rubber brick with my pyjamas on.
Victoria Wood
A man is designed to walk three miles in the rain to phone for help when the car breaks down - and a woman is designed to say, 'you took your time' when he comes back dripping wet.
Victoria Wood
On a train, why do I always end up sitting next to the woman who's eating the individual fruit pie by sucking the filling out through the hole in the middle?
Victoria Wood
I wouldn't kidnap a man for sex - I'm not saying I couldn't use someone to oil the mower.
Victoria Wood
You know daytime television? You know what it's supposed to be for? It's to keep unemployed people happy. It's supposed to stop them running to the social security demanding mad luxuries like cookers and windows.
Victoria Wood
If God had meant them to be lifted and separated, He would have put one on each shoulder.
Victoria Wood
Sexual harassment at work... is it a problem for the self-employed?
Victoria Wood
Acting is not my favourite thing. I don't like wearing costumes and wigs.
Victoria Wood
If God had meant men to have children, he would have given them a PVC apron.
Victoria Wood
Everyone I meet is gay, married or crackers
Victoria Wood
I have been in a youth hostel...You are put in a kitchen with seventeen venture scouts with behavioural difficulties and made to wash swedes.
Victoria Wood
People always think I hate doing interviews. I don't. I wouldn't do them if I didn't like them.
Victoria Wood
I once went to one of those parties where everyone throws their car keys into the middle of the room. I don't know who got my moped, but I drove that Peugeot for years.
Victoria Wood
Music is an element that should be part and parcel of every child's life via the education system.
Victoria Wood
In Russia, show the least athletic aptitude and they've got you dangling off the parallel bars with a leotard full of hormones.
Victoria Wood
