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Life's not fair, is it? Some of us drink champagne in the fast lane, and some of us eat our sandwiches by the loose chippings on the A597.

Victoria Wood

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Victoria Wood
Age: 62 †
Born: 1953
Born: May 19
Died: 2016
Died: April 20
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Score Composer
Pianist
Screenwriter
Singer
Singer-Songwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Director
Sandwiches
Champagne
Loose
Fairs
Fair
Fast
Drink
Lane
Life
Lanes

More quotes by Victoria Wood

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I haven't got a waist. I've just got a sort of place ... a bit like an unmarked level crossing.
Victoria Wood
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A man is designed to walk three miles in the rain to phone for help when the car breaks down - and a woman is designed to say, 'you took your time' when he comes back dripping wet.
Victoria Wood
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I sometimes think that being widowed is God's way of telling you to come off the Pill.
Victoria Wood
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I've never understood the point of ecstasy. I think if I wanted to get dehydrated and jump about with a load of people I've never met before I could go to a Methodist barn dance.
Victoria Wood
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Well, I think there's not much of a chance for me finding somebody of my age. Gentlemen of my age are dropping down 30 years to find girlfriends.
Victoria Wood
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Of course I don't want to go to a cocktail party...If I wanted to stand around with a load of people I don't know eating bits of cold toast I can get caught shoplifting and go to Holloway [women's prison].
Victoria Wood
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A lot of panel programmes rely on men topping each other, or sparring with each other, which is not generally a very female thing.
Victoria Wood
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In my day we didn't have sex education, we just picked up what we could off the television.
Victoria Wood
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I like writing a lot more than I used to. I used to find it scary but now I've got used to it once it gets going. I used to find it hard to start. Fear of the blank page. The first thing you write down won't bear any relation to what's in your head and that's always disappointing.
Victoria Wood
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All my friends started getting boyfriends, but I didn't want a boyfriend, I wanted a thirteen-colour biro.
Victoria Wood
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I once went to one of those parties where everyone throws their car keys into the middle of the room. I don't know who got my moped, but I drove that Peugeot for years.
Victoria Wood
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I wouldn't kidnap a man for sex - I'm not saying I couldn't use someone to oil the mower.
Victoria Wood
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Radio killed variety and TV killed radio, and the internet will kill television and it will go on and on.
Victoria Wood
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If God had meant men to have children, he would have given them a PVC apron.
Victoria Wood
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In London it's easy not to be the focus of attention, especially when Sting lives in the house just behind you.
Victoria Wood
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If God had meant them to be lifted and separated, He would have put one on each shoulder.
Victoria Wood
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Acting is not my favourite thing. I don't like wearing costumes and wigs.
Victoria Wood
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On a train, why do I always end up sitting next to the woman who's eating the individual fruit pie by sucking the filling out through the hole in the middle?
Victoria Wood
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In my 20s I was going round seeing agents who were patronising because I was fat and a girl, which was a double whammy. I knew what it was to feel out-of-the-loop.
Victoria Wood
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I used to make my own food and ate on my own in my room.
Victoria Wood