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You want something by Bach? Which one, Johann Sebastian or Jacques Offen?

Victor Borge

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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Johann
Jacques
Sebastian
Bach
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More quotes by Victor Borge

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Many people have asked me why there are three pedals in these grand pianos. Well the pedal in the middle is there to separate the two other pedals.
Victor Borge
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In my youth, I wanted to be a great pantomimist -- but I found I had nothing to say.
Victor Borge
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When an opera star sings her head off? she usually improves her appearance.
Victor Borge
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I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it.
Victor Borge
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You may not be aware of this but Leonard Bernstein won another award, for explaining the music of Igor Stravinsky... to Igor Stravinsky!
Victor Borge
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How nice. Now the Germans can sleep in peace, knowing that they will not be invaded by us.
Victor Borge
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Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.
Victor Borge
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(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?
Victor Borge
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The first piano was built long after they didn't have any at all.
Victor Borge
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My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.
Victor Borge
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The essence of a general's job is to assist in developing a clear sense of purpose . to keep the junk from getting in the way of important things.
Victor Borge
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I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.
Victor Borge
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I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.
Victor Borge
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I do not have a single white note on my piano my elephant smoked too much.
Victor Borge
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What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
Victor Borge
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Flint must be an extremely wealthy town: I see that each of you bought two or three seats.
Victor Borge
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When I was a little boy and played Liebestraum, my father used to hit me on the head with a newspaper every time I slopped the cadenza . . . I hate Liebestraum.
Victor Borge
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It (the double-clarinet in India) was primarily used for snake charming, since the snake would do almost anything to get the Indians to stop playing it.
Victor Borge
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One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.
Victor Borge
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That's why I've never thought of retiring because I do it all the time whether on the stage or off. I found that in a precarious situation, a smile is the shortest distance between people. When one needs to reach out for sympathy or a link with people, what better way is there?
Victor Borge