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Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye... and that's my reward... the rest goes to the government.
Victor Borge
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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Government
Rewards
Fingers
Laughter
Tears
Wipe
Rest
Tear
Goes
Occasionally
Eye
Finger
Comes
Reward
More quotes by Victor Borge
It (the double-clarinet in India) was primarily used for snake charming, since the snake would do almost anything to get the Indians to stop playing it.
Victor Borge
And now, in honour of the 150th anniversary of Beethoven's death, I would like to play 'Clear the Saloon', er, 'Clair de Lune', by Debussy. I don't play Beethoven so well, but I play Debussy very badly, and Beethoven would have liked that.
Victor Borge
In my youth, I wanted to be a great pantomimist -- but I found I had nothing to say.
Victor Borge
I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.
Victor Borge
Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics.
Victor Borge
Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.
Victor Borge
Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.
Victor Borge
Flint must be an extremely wealthy town: I see that each of you bought two or three seats.
Victor Borge
You may not be aware of this but Leonard Bernstein won another award, for explaining the music of Igor Stravinsky... to Igor Stravinsky!
Victor Borge
A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.
Victor Borge
...the elephant smoked too much.
Victor Borge
Read (this book), smile, enjoy, and if you happen to learn something along the way, don't get upset.
Victor Borge
If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward.
Victor Borge
(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?
Victor Borge
The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.
Victor Borge
Laughter is the closest distance between two people.
Victor Borge
When I was a little boy and played Liebestraum, my father used to hit me on the head with a newspaper every time I slopped the cadenza . . . I hate Liebestraum.
Victor Borge
I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.
Victor Borge
Many people have asked me why there are three pedals in these grand pianos. Well the pedal in the middle is there to separate the two other pedals.
Victor Borge
I learned to play the piano on my mother's knee - that was before we got a piano.
Victor Borge