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Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye... and that's my reward... the rest goes to the government.
Victor Borge
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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Laughter
Tears
Wipe
Rest
Tear
Goes
Occasionally
Eye
Finger
Comes
Reward
Government
Rewards
Fingers
More quotes by Victor Borge
I do not have a single white note on my piano my elephant smoked too much.
Victor Borge
Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.
Victor Borge
There are three Bachs. Johann, Sebastian and Offen.
Victor Borge
And now, in honour of the 150th anniversary of Beethoven's death, I would like to play 'Clear the Saloon', er, 'Clair de Lune', by Debussy. I don't play Beethoven so well, but I play Debussy very badly, and Beethoven would have liked that.
Victor Borge
The oboe sounds like a clarinet with a cold.
Victor Borge
How nice. Now the Germans can sleep in peace, knowing that they will not be invaded by us.
Victor Borge
What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
Victor Borge
What is the difference between a Nazi and a dog?The Nazi lifts his arm.
Victor Borge
My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.
Victor Borge
The first piano was built long after they didn't have any at all.
Victor Borge
Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.
Victor Borge
I only know two pieces one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.
Victor Borge
Beethoven wrote in three flats a lot. That's because he moved twice.
Victor Borge
Many people have asked me why there are three pedals in these grand pianos. Well the pedal in the middle is there to separate the two other pedals.
Victor Borge
I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.
Victor Borge
I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.
Victor Borge
If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward.
Victor Borge
The elephant smoked too much.(explaining why the keys of his piano were so yellow)
Victor Borge
Mendelssohn never wrote any Water Music. However, he wrote the Scotch Symphony, which is even better, or at least stronger.
Victor Borge
That's why I've never thought of retiring because I do it all the time whether on the stage or off. I found that in a precarious situation, a smile is the shortest distance between people. When one needs to reach out for sympathy or a link with people, what better way is there?
Victor Borge