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In my youth, I wanted to be a great pantomimist -- but I found I had nothing to say.
Victor Borge
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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Youth
Found
Wanted
Nothing
Great
More quotes by Victor Borge
I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?
Victor Borge
You want something by Bach? Which one, Johann Sebastian or Jacques Offen?
Victor Borge
Flint must be an extremely wealthy town: I see that each of you bought two or three seats.
Victor Borge
I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it.
Victor Borge
I only know two pieces one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.
Victor Borge
Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.
Victor Borge
Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.
Victor Borge
And now, in honour of the 150th anniversary of Beethoven's death, I would like to play 'Clear the Saloon', er, 'Clair de Lune', by Debussy. I don't play Beethoven so well, but I play Debussy very badly, and Beethoven would have liked that.
Victor Borge
He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
Victor Borge
They say that Nero started the fire himself because he needed a suitable backdrop for his concert.
Victor Borge
Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye... and that's my reward... the rest goes to the government.
Victor Borge
Laughter is the closest distance between two people.
Victor Borge
One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.
Victor Borge
My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.
Victor Borge
Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.
Victor Borge
The elephant smoked too much.(explaining why the keys of his piano were so yellow)
Victor Borge
The essence of a general's job is to assist in developing a clear sense of purpose . to keep the junk from getting in the way of important things.
Victor Borge
Read (this book), smile, enjoy, and if you happen to learn something along the way, don't get upset.
Victor Borge
I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.
Victor Borge
The first piano was built long after they didn't have any at all.
Victor Borge