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In my youth, I wanted to be a great pantomimist -- but I found I had nothing to say.
Victor Borge
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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Youth
Found
Wanted
Nothing
Great
More quotes by Victor Borge
(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?
Victor Borge
Many people have asked me why there are three pedals in these grand pianos. Well the pedal in the middle is there to separate the two other pedals.
Victor Borge
Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.
Victor Borge
Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.
Victor Borge
They say that Nero started the fire himself because he needed a suitable backdrop for his concert.
Victor Borge
And now, in honour of the 150th anniversary of Beethoven's death, I would like to play 'Clear the Saloon', er, 'Clair de Lune', by Debussy. I don't play Beethoven so well, but I play Debussy very badly, and Beethoven would have liked that.
Victor Borge
There are three Bachs. Johann, Sebastian and Offen.
Victor Borge
I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?
Victor Borge
In my dreams of Heaven, I always see the great Masters gathered in a huge hall in which they all reside. Only Mozart has his own suite.
Victor Borge
You may not be aware of this but Leonard Bernstein won another award, for explaining the music of Igor Stravinsky... to Igor Stravinsky!
Victor Borge
I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.
Victor Borge
The elephant smoked too much.(explaining why the keys of his piano were so yellow)
Victor Borge
What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
Victor Borge
Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos.
Victor Borge
What is the difference between a Nazi and a dog?The Nazi lifts his arm.
Victor Borge
...the elephant smoked too much.
Victor Borge
I do not have a single white note on my piano my elephant smoked too much.
Victor Borge
The conductor is a peculiar person. He turns his back on his friends in the audience, shakes a stick at his players in the orchestra, and then wonders why nobody loves him.
Victor Borge
I only know two pieces one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.
Victor Borge
Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.
Victor Borge