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How nice. Now the Germans can sleep in peace, knowing that they will not be invaded by us.

Victor Borge

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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Germans
Aggression
Germany
Sleep
Knowing
Nice
Invaded
Peace
Denmark
Pact

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I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible? and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.
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The essence of a general's job is to assist in developing a clear sense of purpose . to keep the junk from getting in the way of important things.
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Laughter is the closest distance between two people.
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The elephant smoked too much.(explaining why the keys of his piano were so yellow)
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There are three Bachs. Johann, Sebastian and Offen.
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In my youth, I wanted to be a great pantomimist -- but I found I had nothing to say.
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Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye... and that's my reward... the rest goes to the government.
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And now, in honour of the 150th anniversary of Beethoven's death, I would like to play 'Clear the Saloon', er, 'Clair de Lune', by Debussy. I don't play Beethoven so well, but I play Debussy very badly, and Beethoven would have liked that.
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A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.
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The oboe sounds like a clarinet with a cold.
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If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward.
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Read (this book), smile, enjoy, and if you happen to learn something along the way, don't get upset.
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When I was a little boy and played Liebestraum, my father used to hit me on the head with a newspaper every time I slopped the cadenza . . . I hate Liebestraum.
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One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.
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What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
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When an opera star sings her head off? she usually improves her appearance.
Victor Borge
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...the elephant smoked too much.
Victor Borge
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Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.
Victor Borge
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Beethoven wrote in three flats a lot. That's because he moved twice.
Victor Borge
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In my dreams of Heaven, I always see the great Masters gathered in a huge hall in which they all reside. Only Mozart has his own suite.
Victor Borge