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What is the difference between a Nazi and a dog?The Nazi lifts his arm.

Victor Borge

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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Nazi
Lifts
Dog
Arms
Difference
Differences

More quotes by Victor Borge

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Many people have asked me why there are three pedals in these grand pianos. Well the pedal in the middle is there to separate the two other pedals.
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He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
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I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.
Victor Borge
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Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.
Victor Borge
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I do not have a single white note on my piano my elephant smoked too much.
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In my youth, I wanted to be a great pantomimist -- but I found I had nothing to say.
Victor Borge
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When an opera star sings her head off? she usually improves her appearance.
Victor Borge
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Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos.
Victor Borge
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That's why I've never thought of retiring because I do it all the time whether on the stage or off. I found that in a precarious situation, a smile is the shortest distance between people. When one needs to reach out for sympathy or a link with people, what better way is there?
Victor Borge
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I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?
Victor Borge
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My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.
Victor Borge
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The first piano was built long after they didn't have any at all.
Victor Borge
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The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.
Victor Borge
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If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward.
Victor Borge
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Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye... and that's my reward... the rest goes to the government.
Victor Borge
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You may not be aware of this but Leonard Bernstein won another award, for explaining the music of Igor Stravinsky... to Igor Stravinsky!
Victor Borge
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Mendelssohn never wrote any Water Music. However, he wrote the Scotch Symphony, which is even better, or at least stronger.
Victor Borge
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What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
Victor Borge
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Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.
Victor Borge
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There are three Bachs. Johann, Sebastian and Offen.
Victor Borge