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What is the difference between a Nazi and a dog?The Nazi lifts his arm.

Victor Borge

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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Nazi
Lifts
Dog
Arms
Difference
Differences

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When an opera star sings her head off? she usually improves her appearance.
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The first piano was built long after they didn't have any at all.
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And now, in honour of the 150th anniversary of Beethoven's death, I would like to play 'Clear the Saloon', er, 'Clair de Lune', by Debussy. I don't play Beethoven so well, but I play Debussy very badly, and Beethoven would have liked that.
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Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.
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Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics.
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He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
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One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.
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My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.
Victor Borge
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It (the double-clarinet in India) was primarily used for snake charming, since the snake would do almost anything to get the Indians to stop playing it.
Victor Borge
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I only know two pieces one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.
Victor Borge
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(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?
Victor Borge
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Flint must be an extremely wealthy town: I see that each of you bought two or three seats.
Victor Borge
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Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye... and that's my reward... the rest goes to the government.
Victor Borge
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I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?
Victor Borge
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You want something by Bach? Which one, Johann Sebastian or Jacques Offen?
Victor Borge
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I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it.
Victor Borge
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I do not have a single white note on my piano my elephant smoked too much.
Victor Borge
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If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward.
Victor Borge
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I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.
Victor Borge
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Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.
Victor Borge