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The essence of a general's job is to assist in developing a clear sense of purpose . to keep the junk from getting in the way of important things.

Victor Borge

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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Things
Clear
Getting
Purpose
Assist
Jobs
Junk
Sense
Developing
Keep
Essence
Important
General
Way
Military

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I do not have a single white note on my piano my elephant smoked too much.
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A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.
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I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?
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You want something by Bach? Which one, Johann Sebastian or Jacques Offen?
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Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics.
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Laughter is the closest distance between two people.
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I only know two pieces one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.
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And now, in honour of the 150th anniversary of Beethoven's death, I would like to play 'Clear the Saloon', er, 'Clair de Lune', by Debussy. I don't play Beethoven so well, but I play Debussy very badly, and Beethoven would have liked that.
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You may not be aware of this but Leonard Bernstein won another award, for explaining the music of Igor Stravinsky... to Igor Stravinsky!
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I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it.
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When I was a little boy and played Liebestraum, my father used to hit me on the head with a newspaper every time I slopped the cadenza . . . I hate Liebestraum.
Victor Borge
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Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.
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Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.
Victor Borge
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When an opera star sings her head off? she usually improves her appearance.
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I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible? and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.
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Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye... and that's my reward... the rest goes to the government.
Victor Borge
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There are three Bachs. Johann, Sebastian and Offen.
Victor Borge
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I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.
Victor Borge
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One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.
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Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos.
Victor Borge