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The essence of a general's job is to assist in developing a clear sense of purpose . to keep the junk from getting in the way of important things.

Victor Borge

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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Sense
Developing
Keep
Essence
Important
General
Way
Military
Things
Clear
Getting
Purpose
Assist
Jobs
Junk

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My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.
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The elephant smoked too much.(explaining why the keys of his piano were so yellow)
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In my dreams of Heaven, I always see the great Masters gathered in a huge hall in which they all reside. Only Mozart has his own suite.
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I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.
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What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
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Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos.
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When I was a little boy and played Liebestraum, my father used to hit me on the head with a newspaper every time I slopped the cadenza . . . I hate Liebestraum.
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The conductor is a peculiar person. He turns his back on his friends in the audience, shakes a stick at his players in the orchestra, and then wonders why nobody loves him.
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Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.
Victor Borge
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I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?
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You may not be aware of this but Leonard Bernstein won another award, for explaining the music of Igor Stravinsky... to Igor Stravinsky!
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The oboe sounds like a clarinet with a cold.
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They say that Nero started the fire himself because he needed a suitable backdrop for his concert.
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I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible? and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.
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In my youth, I wanted to be a great pantomimist -- but I found I had nothing to say.
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Mendelssohn never wrote any Water Music. However, he wrote the Scotch Symphony, which is even better, or at least stronger.
Victor Borge
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He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
Victor Borge
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And now, in honour of the 150th anniversary of Beethoven's death, I would like to play 'Clear the Saloon', er, 'Clair de Lune', by Debussy. I don't play Beethoven so well, but I play Debussy very badly, and Beethoven would have liked that.
Victor Borge
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Flint must be an extremely wealthy town: I see that each of you bought two or three seats.
Victor Borge
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Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.
Victor Borge