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When I was a little boy and played Liebestraum, my father used to hit me on the head with a newspaper every time I slopped the cadenza . . . I hate Liebestraum.
Victor Borge
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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Littles
Newspaper
Little
Newspapers
Every
Played
Time
Boys
Head
Hate
Father
Used
More quotes by Victor Borge
In my dreams of Heaven, I always see the great Masters gathered in a huge hall in which they all reside. Only Mozart has his own suite.
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There is a bit of Hans Christian Andersen in every Dane.
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The conductor is a peculiar person. He turns his back on his friends in the audience, shakes a stick at his players in the orchestra, and then wonders why nobody loves him.
Victor Borge
A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.
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I only know two pieces one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.
Victor Borge
I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible? and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.
Victor Borge
The elephant smoked too much.(explaining why the keys of his piano were so yellow)
Victor Borge
The oboe sounds like a clarinet with a cold.
Victor Borge
What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
Victor Borge
(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?
Victor Borge
My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.
Victor Borge
There are three Bachs. Johann, Sebastian and Offen.
Victor Borge
Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.
Victor Borge
When an opera star sings her head off? she usually improves her appearance.
Victor Borge
Beethoven wrote in three flats a lot. That's because he moved twice.
Victor Borge
If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward.
Victor Borge
How nice. Now the Germans can sleep in peace, knowing that they will not be invaded by us.
Victor Borge
(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?
Victor Borge
I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it.
Victor Borge
Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics.
Victor Borge