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When I was a little boy and played Liebestraum, my father used to hit me on the head with a newspaper every time I slopped the cadenza . . . I hate Liebestraum.

Victor Borge

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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Used
Littles
Newspaper
Little
Newspapers
Every
Played
Time
Boys
Head
Hate
Father

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Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.
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I learned to play the piano on my mother's knee - that was before we got a piano.
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The conductor is a peculiar person. He turns his back on his friends in the audience, shakes a stick at his players in the orchestra, and then wonders why nobody loves him.
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I only know two pieces one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.
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There is a bit of Hans Christian Andersen in every Dane.
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The first piano was built long after they didn't have any at all.
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Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.
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A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.
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How nice. Now the Germans can sleep in peace, knowing that they will not be invaded by us.
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In my dreams of Heaven, I always see the great Masters gathered in a huge hall in which they all reside. Only Mozart has his own suite.
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...the elephant smoked too much.
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Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye... and that's my reward... the rest goes to the government.
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The elephant smoked too much.(explaining why the keys of his piano were so yellow)
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It (the double-clarinet in India) was primarily used for snake charming, since the snake would do almost anything to get the Indians to stop playing it.
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I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.
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I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it.
Victor Borge
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Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.
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(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?
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One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.
Victor Borge
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Laughter is the closest distance between two people.
Victor Borge