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I do not have a single white note on my piano my elephant smoked too much.

Victor Borge

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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Piano
Notes
Single
White
Much
Smoked
Elephant
Elephants
Note

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When an opera star sings her head off? she usually improves her appearance.
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In my youth, I wanted to be a great pantomimist -- but I found I had nothing to say.
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Laughter is the closest distance between two people.
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And now, in honour of the 150th anniversary of Beethoven's death, I would like to play 'Clear the Saloon', er, 'Clair de Lune', by Debussy. I don't play Beethoven so well, but I play Debussy very badly, and Beethoven would have liked that.
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(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?
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How nice. Now the Germans can sleep in peace, knowing that they will not be invaded by us.
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I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it.
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There is a bit of Hans Christian Andersen in every Dane.
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Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.
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I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.
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Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics.
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My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.
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Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos.
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The first piano was built long after they didn't have any at all.
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If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward.
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...the elephant smoked too much.
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He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
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There are three Bachs. Johann, Sebastian and Offen.
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You want something by Bach? Which one, Johann Sebastian or Jacques Offen?
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Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.
Victor Borge