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I do not have a single white note on my piano my elephant smoked too much.

Victor Borge

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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Piano
Notes
Single
White
Much
Smoked
Elephant
Elephants
Note

More quotes by Victor Borge

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How nice. Now the Germans can sleep in peace, knowing that they will not be invaded by us.
Victor Borge
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Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.
Victor Borge
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Mendelssohn never wrote any Water Music. However, he wrote the Scotch Symphony, which is even better, or at least stronger.
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In my dreams of Heaven, I always see the great Masters gathered in a huge hall in which they all reside. Only Mozart has his own suite.
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Many people have asked me why there are three pedals in these grand pianos. Well the pedal in the middle is there to separate the two other pedals.
Victor Borge
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That's why I've never thought of retiring because I do it all the time whether on the stage or off. I found that in a precarious situation, a smile is the shortest distance between people. When one needs to reach out for sympathy or a link with people, what better way is there?
Victor Borge
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The first piano was built long after they didn't have any at all.
Victor Borge
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You want something by Bach? Which one, Johann Sebastian or Jacques Offen?
Victor Borge
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(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?
Victor Borge
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Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.
Victor Borge
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When an opera star sings her head off? she usually improves her appearance.
Victor Borge
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Beethoven wrote in three flats a lot. That's because he moved twice.
Victor Borge
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Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.
Victor Borge
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Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye... and that's my reward... the rest goes to the government.
Victor Borge
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The essence of a general's job is to assist in developing a clear sense of purpose . to keep the junk from getting in the way of important things.
Victor Borge
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I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.
Victor Borge
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(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?
Victor Borge
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I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible? and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.
Victor Borge
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What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
Victor Borge
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Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics.
Victor Borge