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I do not have a single white note on my piano my elephant smoked too much.

Victor Borge

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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
White
Much
Smoked
Elephant
Elephants
Note
Piano
Notes
Single

More quotes by Victor Borge

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You want something by Bach? Which one, Johann Sebastian or Jacques Offen?
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My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.
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You may not be aware of this but Leonard Bernstein won another award, for explaining the music of Igor Stravinsky... to Igor Stravinsky!
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The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.
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They say that Nero started the fire himself because he needed a suitable backdrop for his concert.
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I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.
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Many people have asked me why there are three pedals in these grand pianos. Well the pedal in the middle is there to separate the two other pedals.
Victor Borge
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What is the difference between a Nazi and a dog?The Nazi lifts his arm.
Victor Borge
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The essence of a general's job is to assist in developing a clear sense of purpose . to keep the junk from getting in the way of important things.
Victor Borge
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The elephant smoked too much.(explaining why the keys of his piano were so yellow)
Victor Borge
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I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible? and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.
Victor Borge
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(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?
Victor Borge
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(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?
Victor Borge
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What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
Victor Borge
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A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.
Victor Borge
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There is a bit of Hans Christian Andersen in every Dane.
Victor Borge
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Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics.
Victor Borge
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How nice. Now the Germans can sleep in peace, knowing that they will not be invaded by us.
Victor Borge
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When an opera star sings her head off? she usually improves her appearance.
Victor Borge
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Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye... and that's my reward... the rest goes to the government.
Victor Borge