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...the elephant smoked too much.

Victor Borge

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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Smoked
Elephant
Elephants
Music
Much

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A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.
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The oboe sounds like a clarinet with a cold.
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It (the double-clarinet in India) was primarily used for snake charming, since the snake would do almost anything to get the Indians to stop playing it.
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Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.
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Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics.
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My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.
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Mendelssohn never wrote any Water Music. However, he wrote the Scotch Symphony, which is even better, or at least stronger.
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I do not have a single white note on my piano my elephant smoked too much.
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When I was a little boy and played Liebestraum, my father used to hit me on the head with a newspaper every time I slopped the cadenza . . . I hate Liebestraum.
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How nice. Now the Germans can sleep in peace, knowing that they will not be invaded by us.
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The first piano was built long after they didn't have any at all.
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I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?
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One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.
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What is the difference between a Nazi and a dog?The Nazi lifts his arm.
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I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.
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If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward.
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In my youth, I wanted to be a great pantomimist -- but I found I had nothing to say.
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(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?
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In my dreams of Heaven, I always see the great Masters gathered in a huge hall in which they all reside. Only Mozart has his own suite.
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Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye... and that's my reward... the rest goes to the government.
Victor Borge