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My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.
Victor Borge
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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Dad
Caught
Died
Disease
Tears
Cure
Father
Invented
Mother
Unfortunately
Cures
More quotes by Victor Borge
Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye... and that's my reward... the rest goes to the government.
Victor Borge
When I was a little boy and played Liebestraum, my father used to hit me on the head with a newspaper every time I slopped the cadenza . . . I hate Liebestraum.
Victor Borge
I learned to play the piano on my mother's knee - that was before we got a piano.
Victor Borge
How nice. Now the Germans can sleep in peace, knowing that they will not be invaded by us.
Victor Borge
What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
Victor Borge
The essence of a general's job is to assist in developing a clear sense of purpose . to keep the junk from getting in the way of important things.
Victor Borge
(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?
Victor Borge
He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
Victor Borge
I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible? and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.
Victor Borge
(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?
Victor Borge
One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.
Victor Borge
A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.
Victor Borge
...the elephant smoked too much.
Victor Borge
It (the double-clarinet in India) was primarily used for snake charming, since the snake would do almost anything to get the Indians to stop playing it.
Victor Borge
The conductor is a peculiar person. He turns his back on his friends in the audience, shakes a stick at his players in the orchestra, and then wonders why nobody loves him.
Victor Borge
I only know two pieces one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.
Victor Borge
Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics.
Victor Borge
Read (this book), smile, enjoy, and if you happen to learn something along the way, don't get upset.
Victor Borge
In my dreams of Heaven, I always see the great Masters gathered in a huge hall in which they all reside. Only Mozart has his own suite.
Victor Borge
There is a bit of Hans Christian Andersen in every Dane.
Victor Borge