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I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it.

Victor Borge

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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Mind
Aging
Growing
Used

More quotes by Victor Borge

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I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?
Victor Borge
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How nice. Now the Germans can sleep in peace, knowing that they will not be invaded by us.
Victor Borge
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In my youth, I wanted to be a great pantomimist -- but I found I had nothing to say.
Victor Borge
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When I was a little boy and played Liebestraum, my father used to hit me on the head with a newspaper every time I slopped the cadenza . . . I hate Liebestraum.
Victor Borge
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The conductor is a peculiar person. He turns his back on his friends in the audience, shakes a stick at his players in the orchestra, and then wonders why nobody loves him.
Victor Borge
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Laughter is the closest distance between two people.
Victor Borge
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They say that Nero started the fire himself because he needed a suitable backdrop for his concert.
Victor Borge
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Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.
Victor Borge
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(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?
Victor Borge
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What is the difference between a Nazi and a dog?The Nazi lifts his arm.
Victor Borge
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That's why I've never thought of retiring because I do it all the time whether on the stage or off. I found that in a precarious situation, a smile is the shortest distance between people. When one needs to reach out for sympathy or a link with people, what better way is there?
Victor Borge
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Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics.
Victor Borge
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Beethoven wrote in three flats a lot. That's because he moved twice.
Victor Borge
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Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos.
Victor Borge
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The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.
Victor Borge
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Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye... and that's my reward... the rest goes to the government.
Victor Borge
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Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.
Victor Borge
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(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?
Victor Borge
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I do not have a single white note on my piano my elephant smoked too much.
Victor Borge
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If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward.
Victor Borge