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Flint must be an extremely wealthy town: I see that each of you bought two or three seats.

Victor Borge

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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Town
Performing
Towns
Musical
Flint
Three
Seats
Two
Wealthy
Must
Bought
Extremely

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I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it.
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You want something by Bach? Which one, Johann Sebastian or Jacques Offen?
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If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward.
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When I was a little boy and played Liebestraum, my father used to hit me on the head with a newspaper every time I slopped the cadenza . . . I hate Liebestraum.
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Laughter is the closest distance between two people.
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What is the difference between a Nazi and a dog?The Nazi lifts his arm.
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I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?
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In my dreams of Heaven, I always see the great Masters gathered in a huge hall in which they all reside. Only Mozart has his own suite.
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And now, in honour of the 150th anniversary of Beethoven's death, I would like to play 'Clear the Saloon', er, 'Clair de Lune', by Debussy. I don't play Beethoven so well, but I play Debussy very badly, and Beethoven would have liked that.
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Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos.
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He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
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Mendelssohn never wrote any Water Music. However, he wrote the Scotch Symphony, which is even better, or at least stronger.
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Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.
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It (the double-clarinet in India) was primarily used for snake charming, since the snake would do almost anything to get the Indians to stop playing it.
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There is a bit of Hans Christian Andersen in every Dane.
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You may not be aware of this but Leonard Bernstein won another award, for explaining the music of Igor Stravinsky... to Igor Stravinsky!
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Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye... and that's my reward... the rest goes to the government.
Victor Borge
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How nice. Now the Germans can sleep in peace, knowing that they will not be invaded by us.
Victor Borge
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That's why I've never thought of retiring because I do it all the time whether on the stage or off. I found that in a precarious situation, a smile is the shortest distance between people. When one needs to reach out for sympathy or a link with people, what better way is there?
Victor Borge
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Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics.
Victor Borge