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Flint must be an extremely wealthy town: I see that each of you bought two or three seats.

Victor Borge

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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Two
Wealthy
Must
Bought
Extremely
Town
Performing
Towns
Musical
Flint
Three
Seats

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Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye... and that's my reward... the rest goes to the government.
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Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.
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There are three Bachs. Johann, Sebastian and Offen.
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You want something by Bach? Which one, Johann Sebastian or Jacques Offen?
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In my dreams of Heaven, I always see the great Masters gathered in a huge hall in which they all reside. Only Mozart has his own suite.
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My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.
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And now, in honour of the 150th anniversary of Beethoven's death, I would like to play 'Clear the Saloon', er, 'Clair de Lune', by Debussy. I don't play Beethoven so well, but I play Debussy very badly, and Beethoven would have liked that.
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The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.
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(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?
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It (the double-clarinet in India) was primarily used for snake charming, since the snake would do almost anything to get the Indians to stop playing it.
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I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.
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I learned to play the piano on my mother's knee - that was before we got a piano.
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I do not have a single white note on my piano my elephant smoked too much.
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One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.
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Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics.
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Many people have asked me why there are three pedals in these grand pianos. Well the pedal in the middle is there to separate the two other pedals.
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Read (this book), smile, enjoy, and if you happen to learn something along the way, don't get upset.
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Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.
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I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.
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When an opera star sings her head off? she usually improves her appearance.
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