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Flint must be an extremely wealthy town: I see that each of you bought two or three seats.

Victor Borge

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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Two
Wealthy
Must
Bought
Extremely
Town
Performing
Towns
Musical
Flint
Three
Seats

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Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics.
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In my dreams of Heaven, I always see the great Masters gathered in a huge hall in which they all reside. Only Mozart has his own suite.
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(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?
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It (the double-clarinet in India) was primarily used for snake charming, since the snake would do almost anything to get the Indians to stop playing it.
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I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.
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...the elephant smoked too much.
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When an opera star sings her head off? she usually improves her appearance.
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There are three Bachs. Johann, Sebastian and Offen.
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Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos.
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I learned to play the piano on my mother's knee - that was before we got a piano.
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(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?
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The oboe sounds like a clarinet with a cold.
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What is the difference between a Nazi and a dog?The Nazi lifts his arm.
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You may not be aware of this but Leonard Bernstein won another award, for explaining the music of Igor Stravinsky... to Igor Stravinsky!
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In my youth, I wanted to be a great pantomimist -- but I found I had nothing to say.
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Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.
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That's why I've never thought of retiring because I do it all the time whether on the stage or off. I found that in a precarious situation, a smile is the shortest distance between people. When one needs to reach out for sympathy or a link with people, what better way is there?
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Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.
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And now, in honour of the 150th anniversary of Beethoven's death, I would like to play 'Clear the Saloon', er, 'Clair de Lune', by Debussy. I don't play Beethoven so well, but I play Debussy very badly, and Beethoven would have liked that.
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When I was a little boy and played Liebestraum, my father used to hit me on the head with a newspaper every time I slopped the cadenza . . . I hate Liebestraum.
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