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I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?

Victor Borge

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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Music
Factory
Much
Factories
Chickens
Eggs
Lays
Workers
Canned
Produce
Elevator
Makes
Elevators

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There is a bit of Hans Christian Andersen in every Dane.
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It (the double-clarinet in India) was primarily used for snake charming, since the snake would do almost anything to get the Indians to stop playing it.
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Beethoven wrote in three flats a lot. That's because he moved twice.
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The essence of a general's job is to assist in developing a clear sense of purpose . to keep the junk from getting in the way of important things.
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I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it.
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My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.
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The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.
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Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.
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Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.
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(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?
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That's why I've never thought of retiring because I do it all the time whether on the stage or off. I found that in a precarious situation, a smile is the shortest distance between people. When one needs to reach out for sympathy or a link with people, what better way is there?
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When an opera star sings her head off? she usually improves her appearance.
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There are three Bachs. Johann, Sebastian and Offen.
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The elephant smoked too much.(explaining why the keys of his piano were so yellow)
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A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.
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What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
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What is the difference between a Nazi and a dog?The Nazi lifts his arm.
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Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos.
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I only know two pieces one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.
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The first piano was built long after they didn't have any at all.
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