Quote

I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?

Victor Borge

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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Produce
Elevator
Makes
Elevators
Music
Factory
Much
Factories
Chickens
Eggs
Lays
Workers
Canned

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The conductor is a peculiar person. He turns his back on his friends in the audience, shakes a stick at his players in the orchestra, and then wonders why nobody loves him.
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I do not have a single white note on my piano my elephant smoked too much.
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Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos.
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The essence of a general's job is to assist in developing a clear sense of purpose . to keep the junk from getting in the way of important things.
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What is the difference between a Nazi and a dog?The Nazi lifts his arm.
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The elephant smoked too much.(explaining why the keys of his piano were so yellow)
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You want something by Bach? Which one, Johann Sebastian or Jacques Offen?
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Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.
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Beethoven wrote in three flats a lot. That's because he moved twice.
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I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.
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A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.
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...the elephant smoked too much.
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How nice. Now the Germans can sleep in peace, knowing that they will not be invaded by us.
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Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics.
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He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
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There is a bit of Hans Christian Andersen in every Dane.
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(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?
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When an opera star sings her head off? she usually improves her appearance.
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In my dreams of Heaven, I always see the great Masters gathered in a huge hall in which they all reside. Only Mozart has his own suite.
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What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
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