Quote

I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?

Victor Borge

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Eggs
Lays
Workers
Canned
Produce
Elevator
Makes
Elevators
Music
Factory
Much
Factories
Chickens

More quotes by Victor Borge

Image
Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye... and that's my reward... the rest goes to the government.
Victor Borge
Image
Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.
Victor Borge
Image
That's why I've never thought of retiring because I do it all the time whether on the stage or off. I found that in a precarious situation, a smile is the shortest distance between people. When one needs to reach out for sympathy or a link with people, what better way is there?
Victor Borge
Image
My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.
Victor Borge
Image
Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics.
Victor Borge
Image
In my youth, I wanted to be a great pantomimist -- but I found I had nothing to say.
Victor Borge
Image
What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
Victor Borge
Image
Read (this book), smile, enjoy, and if you happen to learn something along the way, don't get upset.
Victor Borge
Image
One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.
Victor Borge
Image
The first piano was built long after they didn't have any at all.
Victor Borge
Image
If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward.
Victor Borge
Image
There is a bit of Hans Christian Andersen in every Dane.
Victor Borge
Image
The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.
Victor Borge
Image
I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.
Victor Borge
Image
Laughter is the closest distance between two people.
Victor Borge
Image
Mendelssohn never wrote any Water Music. However, he wrote the Scotch Symphony, which is even better, or at least stronger.
Victor Borge
Image
A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.
Victor Borge
Image
And now, in honour of the 150th anniversary of Beethoven's death, I would like to play 'Clear the Saloon', er, 'Clair de Lune', by Debussy. I don't play Beethoven so well, but I play Debussy very badly, and Beethoven would have liked that.
Victor Borge
Image
The oboe sounds like a clarinet with a cold.
Victor Borge
Image
Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos.
Victor Borge