Quote

I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?

Victor Borge

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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Produce
Elevator
Makes
Elevators
Music
Factory
Much
Factories
Chickens
Eggs
Lays
Workers
Canned

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Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.
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You may not be aware of this but Leonard Bernstein won another award, for explaining the music of Igor Stravinsky... to Igor Stravinsky!
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I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.
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The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.
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The elephant smoked too much.(explaining why the keys of his piano were so yellow)
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What is the difference between a Nazi and a dog?The Nazi lifts his arm.
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I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it.
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Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.
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It (the double-clarinet in India) was primarily used for snake charming, since the snake would do almost anything to get the Indians to stop playing it.
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Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos.
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Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.
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I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.
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...the elephant smoked too much.
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The first piano was built long after they didn't have any at all.
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In my youth, I wanted to be a great pantomimist -- but I found I had nothing to say.
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Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye... and that's my reward... the rest goes to the government.
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I only know two pieces one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.
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When I was a little boy and played Liebestraum, my father used to hit me on the head with a newspaper every time I slopped the cadenza . . . I hate Liebestraum.
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I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible? and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.
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Many people have asked me why there are three pedals in these grand pianos. Well the pedal in the middle is there to separate the two other pedals.
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