Quote

I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?

Victor Borge

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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Music
Factory
Much
Factories
Chickens
Eggs
Lays
Workers
Canned
Produce
Elevator
Makes
Elevators

More quotes by Victor Borge

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I do not have a single white note on my piano my elephant smoked too much.
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I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.
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The oboe sounds like a clarinet with a cold.
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He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
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Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos.
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When I was a little boy and played Liebestraum, my father used to hit me on the head with a newspaper every time I slopped the cadenza . . . I hate Liebestraum.
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Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye... and that's my reward... the rest goes to the government.
Victor Borge
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Many people have asked me why there are three pedals in these grand pianos. Well the pedal in the middle is there to separate the two other pedals.
Victor Borge
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It (the double-clarinet in India) was primarily used for snake charming, since the snake would do almost anything to get the Indians to stop playing it.
Victor Borge
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(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?
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I learned to play the piano on my mother's knee - that was before we got a piano.
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How nice. Now the Germans can sleep in peace, knowing that they will not be invaded by us.
Victor Borge
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In my dreams of Heaven, I always see the great Masters gathered in a huge hall in which they all reside. Only Mozart has his own suite.
Victor Borge
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I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible? and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.
Victor Borge
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The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.
Victor Borge
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Mendelssohn never wrote any Water Music. However, he wrote the Scotch Symphony, which is even better, or at least stronger.
Victor Borge
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Flint must be an extremely wealthy town: I see that each of you bought two or three seats.
Victor Borge
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Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.
Victor Borge
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Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.
Victor Borge
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The conductor is a peculiar person. He turns his back on his friends in the audience, shakes a stick at his players in the orchestra, and then wonders why nobody loves him.
Victor Borge