Quote

I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?

Victor Borge

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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Much
Factories
Chickens
Eggs
Lays
Workers
Canned
Produce
Elevator
Makes
Elevators
Music
Factory

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Many people have asked me why there are three pedals in these grand pianos. Well the pedal in the middle is there to separate the two other pedals.
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(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?
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A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.
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The conductor is a peculiar person. He turns his back on his friends in the audience, shakes a stick at his players in the orchestra, and then wonders why nobody loves him.
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I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.
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He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
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When an opera star sings her head off? she usually improves her appearance.
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What is the difference between a Nazi and a dog?The Nazi lifts his arm.
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Flint must be an extremely wealthy town: I see that each of you bought two or three seats.
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There is a bit of Hans Christian Andersen in every Dane.
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If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward.
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My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.
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I learned to play the piano on my mother's knee - that was before we got a piano.
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And now, in honour of the 150th anniversary of Beethoven's death, I would like to play 'Clear the Saloon', er, 'Clair de Lune', by Debussy. I don't play Beethoven so well, but I play Debussy very badly, and Beethoven would have liked that.
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I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible? and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.
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Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics.
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What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
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There are three Bachs. Johann, Sebastian and Offen.
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One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.
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The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.
Victor Borge