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I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?
Victor Borge
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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Workers
Canned
Produce
Elevator
Makes
Elevators
Music
Factory
Much
Factories
Chickens
Eggs
Lays
More quotes by Victor Borge
Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics.
Victor Borge
It (the double-clarinet in India) was primarily used for snake charming, since the snake would do almost anything to get the Indians to stop playing it.
Victor Borge
What is the difference between a Nazi and a dog?The Nazi lifts his arm.
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I learned to play the piano on my mother's knee - that was before we got a piano.
Victor Borge
I only know two pieces one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.
Victor Borge
In my youth, I wanted to be a great pantomimist -- but I found I had nothing to say.
Victor Borge
I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.
Victor Borge
I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible? and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.
Victor Borge
(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?
Victor Borge
Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye... and that's my reward... the rest goes to the government.
Victor Borge
There are three Bachs. Johann, Sebastian and Offen.
Victor Borge
Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos.
Victor Borge
The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.
Victor Borge
If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward.
Victor Borge
And now, in honour of the 150th anniversary of Beethoven's death, I would like to play 'Clear the Saloon', er, 'Clair de Lune', by Debussy. I don't play Beethoven so well, but I play Debussy very badly, and Beethoven would have liked that.
Victor Borge
Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.
Victor Borge
I do not have a single white note on my piano my elephant smoked too much.
Victor Borge
My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.
Victor Borge
There is a bit of Hans Christian Andersen in every Dane.
Victor Borge
The oboe sounds like a clarinet with a cold.
Victor Borge