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They say that Nero started the fire himself because he needed a suitable backdrop for his concert.

Victor Borge

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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Funny
Backdrop
Music
Suitable
Concert
Concerts
Humorous
Needed
Started
Fire
Nero

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It (the double-clarinet in India) was primarily used for snake charming, since the snake would do almost anything to get the Indians to stop playing it.
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The oboe sounds like a clarinet with a cold.
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In my youth, I wanted to be a great pantomimist -- but I found I had nothing to say.
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What is the difference between a Nazi and a dog?The Nazi lifts his arm.
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In my dreams of Heaven, I always see the great Masters gathered in a huge hall in which they all reside. Only Mozart has his own suite.
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(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?
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I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.
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Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.
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I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?
Victor Borge
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I only know two pieces one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.
Victor Borge
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Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics.
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The first piano was built long after they didn't have any at all.
Victor Borge
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Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos.
Victor Borge
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When an opera star sings her head off? she usually improves her appearance.
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Beethoven wrote in three flats a lot. That's because he moved twice.
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Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.
Victor Borge
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The essence of a general's job is to assist in developing a clear sense of purpose . to keep the junk from getting in the way of important things.
Victor Borge
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When I was a little boy and played Liebestraum, my father used to hit me on the head with a newspaper every time I slopped the cadenza . . . I hate Liebestraum.
Victor Borge
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Laughter is the closest distance between two people.
Victor Borge
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If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward.
Victor Borge