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The conductor is a peculiar person. He turns his back on his friends in the audience, shakes a stick at his players in the orchestra, and then wonders why nobody loves him.

Victor Borge

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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Audience
Stick
Friends
Humorous
Turns
Sticks
Funny
Players
Conductor
Persons
Loves
Wonders
Back
Nobody
Orchestra
Music
Player
Shakes
Person
Wonder
Peculiar

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There is a bit of Hans Christian Andersen in every Dane.
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What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
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If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward.
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It (the double-clarinet in India) was primarily used for snake charming, since the snake would do almost anything to get the Indians to stop playing it.
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(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?
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And now, in honour of the 150th anniversary of Beethoven's death, I would like to play 'Clear the Saloon', er, 'Clair de Lune', by Debussy. I don't play Beethoven so well, but I play Debussy very badly, and Beethoven would have liked that.
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(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?
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A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.
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I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.
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I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible? and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.
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Read (this book), smile, enjoy, and if you happen to learn something along the way, don't get upset.
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The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.
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The oboe sounds like a clarinet with a cold.
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They say that Nero started the fire himself because he needed a suitable backdrop for his concert.
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I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?
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How nice. Now the Germans can sleep in peace, knowing that they will not be invaded by us.
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Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.
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Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.
Victor Borge
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He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
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...the elephant smoked too much.
Victor Borge