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The conductor is a peculiar person. He turns his back on his friends in the audience, shakes a stick at his players in the orchestra, and then wonders why nobody loves him.
Victor Borge
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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Audience
Stick
Friends
Humorous
Turns
Sticks
Funny
Players
Conductor
Persons
Loves
Wonders
Back
Nobody
Orchestra
Music
Player
Shakes
Person
Wonder
Peculiar
More quotes by Victor Borge
There is a bit of Hans Christian Andersen in every Dane.
Victor Borge
What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
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If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward.
Victor Borge
It (the double-clarinet in India) was primarily used for snake charming, since the snake would do almost anything to get the Indians to stop playing it.
Victor Borge
(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?
Victor Borge
And now, in honour of the 150th anniversary of Beethoven's death, I would like to play 'Clear the Saloon', er, 'Clair de Lune', by Debussy. I don't play Beethoven so well, but I play Debussy very badly, and Beethoven would have liked that.
Victor Borge
(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?
Victor Borge
A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.
Victor Borge
I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.
Victor Borge
I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible? and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.
Victor Borge
Read (this book), smile, enjoy, and if you happen to learn something along the way, don't get upset.
Victor Borge
The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.
Victor Borge
The oboe sounds like a clarinet with a cold.
Victor Borge
They say that Nero started the fire himself because he needed a suitable backdrop for his concert.
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I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?
Victor Borge
How nice. Now the Germans can sleep in peace, knowing that they will not be invaded by us.
Victor Borge
Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.
Victor Borge
Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.
Victor Borge
He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
Victor Borge
...the elephant smoked too much.
Victor Borge