Quote

Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.

Victor Borge

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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Air
Clarinet
Cases
Lawyers
Funny
Supply
Order
Hot
Music
Humorous
Need
Lawyer
Needs
Function
Like
Constant
Mouthpiece

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I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?
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I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible? and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.
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What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
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The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.
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The first piano was built long after they didn't have any at all.
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It (the double-clarinet in India) was primarily used for snake charming, since the snake would do almost anything to get the Indians to stop playing it.
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You want something by Bach? Which one, Johann Sebastian or Jacques Offen?
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A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.
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I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.
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In my youth, I wanted to be a great pantomimist -- but I found I had nothing to say.
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That's why I've never thought of retiring because I do it all the time whether on the stage or off. I found that in a precarious situation, a smile is the shortest distance between people. When one needs to reach out for sympathy or a link with people, what better way is there?
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I do not have a single white note on my piano my elephant smoked too much.
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(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?
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The conductor is a peculiar person. He turns his back on his friends in the audience, shakes a stick at his players in the orchestra, and then wonders why nobody loves him.
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How nice. Now the Germans can sleep in peace, knowing that they will not be invaded by us.
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There are three Bachs. Johann, Sebastian and Offen.
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Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.
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My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.
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I learned to play the piano on my mother's knee - that was before we got a piano.
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One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.
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