Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.
Victor Borge
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Funny
Supply
Order
Hot
Music
Humorous
Need
Lawyer
Needs
Function
Like
Constant
Mouthpiece
Air
Clarinet
Cases
Lawyers
More quotes by Victor Borge
When an opera star sings her head off? she usually improves her appearance.
Victor Borge
I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.
Victor Borge
That's why I've never thought of retiring because I do it all the time whether on the stage or off. I found that in a precarious situation, a smile is the shortest distance between people. When one needs to reach out for sympathy or a link with people, what better way is there?
Victor Borge
Read (this book), smile, enjoy, and if you happen to learn something along the way, don't get upset.
Victor Borge
They say that Nero started the fire himself because he needed a suitable backdrop for his concert.
Victor Borge
Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye... and that's my reward... the rest goes to the government.
Victor Borge
(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?
Victor Borge
Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.
Victor Borge
I learned to play the piano on my mother's knee - that was before we got a piano.
Victor Borge
Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos.
Victor Borge
I only know two pieces one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.
Victor Borge
Beethoven wrote in three flats a lot. That's because he moved twice.
Victor Borge
Mendelssohn never wrote any Water Music. However, he wrote the Scotch Symphony, which is even better, or at least stronger.
Victor Borge
It (the double-clarinet in India) was primarily used for snake charming, since the snake would do almost anything to get the Indians to stop playing it.
Victor Borge
In my dreams of Heaven, I always see the great Masters gathered in a huge hall in which they all reside. Only Mozart has his own suite.
Victor Borge
There are three Bachs. Johann, Sebastian and Offen.
Victor Borge
How nice. Now the Germans can sleep in peace, knowing that they will not be invaded by us.
Victor Borge
There is a bit of Hans Christian Andersen in every Dane.
Victor Borge
The essence of a general's job is to assist in developing a clear sense of purpose . to keep the junk from getting in the way of important things.
Victor Borge
When I was a little boy and played Liebestraum, my father used to hit me on the head with a newspaper every time I slopped the cadenza . . . I hate Liebestraum.
Victor Borge
