Quote

Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.

Victor Borge

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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Need
Lawyer
Needs
Function
Like
Constant
Mouthpiece
Air
Clarinet
Cases
Lawyers
Funny
Supply
Order
Hot
Music
Humorous

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There is a bit of Hans Christian Andersen in every Dane.
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Mendelssohn never wrote any Water Music. However, he wrote the Scotch Symphony, which is even better, or at least stronger.
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When I was a little boy and played Liebestraum, my father used to hit me on the head with a newspaper every time I slopped the cadenza . . . I hate Liebestraum.
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(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?
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Many people have asked me why there are three pedals in these grand pianos. Well the pedal in the middle is there to separate the two other pedals.
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It (the double-clarinet in India) was primarily used for snake charming, since the snake would do almost anything to get the Indians to stop playing it.
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I do not have a single white note on my piano my elephant smoked too much.
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What is the difference between a Nazi and a dog?The Nazi lifts his arm.
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Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics.
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They say that Nero started the fire himself because he needed a suitable backdrop for his concert.
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(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?
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The conductor is a peculiar person. He turns his back on his friends in the audience, shakes a stick at his players in the orchestra, and then wonders why nobody loves him.
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Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.
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In my youth, I wanted to be a great pantomimist -- but I found I had nothing to say.
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The oboe sounds like a clarinet with a cold.
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That's why I've never thought of retiring because I do it all the time whether on the stage or off. I found that in a precarious situation, a smile is the shortest distance between people. When one needs to reach out for sympathy or a link with people, what better way is there?
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A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.
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Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos.
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...the elephant smoked too much.
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There are three Bachs. Johann, Sebastian and Offen.
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