Quote

Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.

Victor Borge

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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Funny
Supply
Order
Hot
Music
Humorous
Need
Lawyer
Needs
Function
Like
Constant
Mouthpiece
Air
Clarinet
Cases
Lawyers

More quotes by Victor Borge

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Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics.
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Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye... and that's my reward... the rest goes to the government.
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The first piano was built long after they didn't have any at all.
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The oboe sounds like a clarinet with a cold.
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You want something by Bach? Which one, Johann Sebastian or Jacques Offen?
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The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.
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How nice. Now the Germans can sleep in peace, knowing that they will not be invaded by us.
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If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward.
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Many people have asked me why there are three pedals in these grand pianos. Well the pedal in the middle is there to separate the two other pedals.
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He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
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You may not be aware of this but Leonard Bernstein won another award, for explaining the music of Igor Stravinsky... to Igor Stravinsky!
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Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos.
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When I was a little boy and played Liebestraum, my father used to hit me on the head with a newspaper every time I slopped the cadenza . . . I hate Liebestraum.
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One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.
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Laughter is the closest distance between two people.
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I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it.
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...the elephant smoked too much.
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The essence of a general's job is to assist in developing a clear sense of purpose . to keep the junk from getting in the way of important things.
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In my youth, I wanted to be a great pantomimist -- but I found I had nothing to say.
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In my dreams of Heaven, I always see the great Masters gathered in a huge hall in which they all reside. Only Mozart has his own suite.
Victor Borge