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When an opera star sings her head off? she usually improves her appearance.
Victor Borge
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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Star
Usually
Head
Stars
Improves
Religion
Sings
Funny
Sarcastic
Music
Opera
Appearance
More quotes by Victor Borge
I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.
Victor Borge
I learned to play the piano on my mother's knee - that was before we got a piano.
Victor Borge
A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.
Victor Borge
That's why I've never thought of retiring because I do it all the time whether on the stage or off. I found that in a precarious situation, a smile is the shortest distance between people. When one needs to reach out for sympathy or a link with people, what better way is there?
Victor Borge
My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.
Victor Borge
I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?
Victor Borge
The first piano was built long after they didn't have any at all.
Victor Borge
What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
Victor Borge
(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?
Victor Borge
When I was a little boy and played Liebestraum, my father used to hit me on the head with a newspaper every time I slopped the cadenza . . . I hate Liebestraum.
Victor Borge
And now, in honour of the 150th anniversary of Beethoven's death, I would like to play 'Clear the Saloon', er, 'Clair de Lune', by Debussy. I don't play Beethoven so well, but I play Debussy very badly, and Beethoven would have liked that.
Victor Borge
They say that Nero started the fire himself because he needed a suitable backdrop for his concert.
Victor Borge
The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.
Victor Borge
One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.
Victor Borge
Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.
Victor Borge
Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.
Victor Borge
There is a bit of Hans Christian Andersen in every Dane.
Victor Borge
Beethoven wrote in three flats a lot. That's because he moved twice.
Victor Borge
Many people have asked me why there are three pedals in these grand pianos. Well the pedal in the middle is there to separate the two other pedals.
Victor Borge
(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?
Victor Borge