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When an opera star sings her head off? she usually improves her appearance.
Victor Borge
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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Head
Stars
Improves
Religion
Sings
Funny
Sarcastic
Music
Opera
Appearance
Star
Usually
More quotes by Victor Borge
You want something by Bach? Which one, Johann Sebastian or Jacques Offen?
Victor Borge
Beethoven wrote in three flats a lot. That's because he moved twice.
Victor Borge
In my youth, I wanted to be a great pantomimist -- but I found I had nothing to say.
Victor Borge
If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward.
Victor Borge
I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.
Victor Borge
It (the double-clarinet in India) was primarily used for snake charming, since the snake would do almost anything to get the Indians to stop playing it.
Victor Borge
Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics.
Victor Borge
I do not have a single white note on my piano my elephant smoked too much.
Victor Borge
I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it.
Victor Borge
I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible? and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.
Victor Borge
(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?
Victor Borge
(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?
Victor Borge
Laughter is the closest distance between two people.
Victor Borge
The oboe sounds like a clarinet with a cold.
Victor Borge
What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
Victor Borge
I learned to play the piano on my mother's knee - that was before we got a piano.
Victor Borge
One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.
Victor Borge
Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.
Victor Borge
Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.
Victor Borge
There are three Bachs. Johann, Sebastian and Offen.
Victor Borge