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When an opera star sings her head off? she usually improves her appearance.

Victor Borge

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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Head
Stars
Improves
Religion
Sings
Funny
Sarcastic
Music
Opera
Appearance
Star
Usually

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You want something by Bach? Which one, Johann Sebastian or Jacques Offen?
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Beethoven wrote in three flats a lot. That's because he moved twice.
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In my youth, I wanted to be a great pantomimist -- but I found I had nothing to say.
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If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward.
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I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.
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It (the double-clarinet in India) was primarily used for snake charming, since the snake would do almost anything to get the Indians to stop playing it.
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Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics.
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I do not have a single white note on my piano my elephant smoked too much.
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I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it.
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I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible? and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.
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(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?
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(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?
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Laughter is the closest distance between two people.
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The oboe sounds like a clarinet with a cold.
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What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
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I learned to play the piano on my mother's knee - that was before we got a piano.
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One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.
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Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.
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Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.
Victor Borge
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There are three Bachs. Johann, Sebastian and Offen.
Victor Borge