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When an opera star sings her head off? she usually improves her appearance.

Victor Borge

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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Funny
Sarcastic
Music
Opera
Appearance
Star
Usually
Head
Stars
Improves
Religion
Sings

More quotes by Victor Borge

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Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.
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There are three Bachs. Johann, Sebastian and Offen.
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How nice. Now the Germans can sleep in peace, knowing that they will not be invaded by us.
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Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.
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I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.
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I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.
Victor Borge
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You want something by Bach? Which one, Johann Sebastian or Jacques Offen?
Victor Borge
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The oboe sounds like a clarinet with a cold.
Victor Borge
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Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos.
Victor Borge
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I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible? and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.
Victor Borge
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What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
Victor Borge
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...the elephant smoked too much.
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Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye... and that's my reward... the rest goes to the government.
Victor Borge
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My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.
Victor Borge
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What is the difference between a Nazi and a dog?The Nazi lifts his arm.
Victor Borge
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Laughter is the closest distance between two people.
Victor Borge
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I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it.
Victor Borge
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In my youth, I wanted to be a great pantomimist -- but I found I had nothing to say.
Victor Borge
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I only know two pieces one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.
Victor Borge
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A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.
Victor Borge