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One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.
Victor Borge
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Victor Borge
Age: 91 †
Born: 1909
Born: January 3
Died: 2000
Died: December 23
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Conductor
Pianist
Stand-Up Comedian
København
Børge Rosenbaum
Father
Angry
Found
Front
Didn
Room
Home
Rooms
Fireplace
Made
Fire
Fireplaces
Years
Came
Roaring
Four
Afternoon
Living
Fronts
More quotes by Victor Borge
That's why I've never thought of retiring because I do it all the time whether on the stage or off. I found that in a precarious situation, a smile is the shortest distance between people. When one needs to reach out for sympathy or a link with people, what better way is there?
Victor Borge
Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye... and that's my reward... the rest goes to the government.
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When an opera star sings her head off? she usually improves her appearance.
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What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
Victor Borge
Mendelssohn never wrote any Water Music. However, he wrote the Scotch Symphony, which is even better, or at least stronger.
Victor Borge
Flint must be an extremely wealthy town: I see that each of you bought two or three seats.
Victor Borge
I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?
Victor Borge
The essence of a general's job is to assist in developing a clear sense of purpose . to keep the junk from getting in the way of important things.
Victor Borge
I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it.
Victor Borge
It (the double-clarinet in India) was primarily used for snake charming, since the snake would do almost anything to get the Indians to stop playing it.
Victor Borge
Read (this book), smile, enjoy, and if you happen to learn something along the way, don't get upset.
Victor Borge
Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.
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You want something by Bach? Which one, Johann Sebastian or Jacques Offen?
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How nice. Now the Germans can sleep in peace, knowing that they will not be invaded by us.
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Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics.
Victor Borge
In my youth, I wanted to be a great pantomimist -- but I found I had nothing to say.
Victor Borge
(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?
Victor Borge
What is the difference between a Nazi and a dog?The Nazi lifts his arm.
Victor Borge
The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.
Victor Borge
The first piano was built long after they didn't have any at all.
Victor Borge